


Roommate Wanted

by eldermcpriceley



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Romance, The other elders are here too if you squint, the angst will come i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-14 02:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10527027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eldermcpriceley/pseuds/eldermcpriceley
Summary: Connor is kicked out of his home.Kevin needs a roommate.That's it. That's the summary.





	1. Chapter 1

**ROOMMATE WANTED!!**  
\- Male or Female  
\- Preferably under 25  
\- Smoke and Drug Free  
\- Rent $560 / month  
\- Large 2 bedroom apartment with cable and wifi access. All bills included in rent.  
\- Good parking space in a nice neighbourhood near the college campus  
\- Call Kevin on 1-342-466-853

It had been six weeks since twenty-year-old Connor McKinley was kicked out of his own home after coming out as gay to his parents. Truthfully, he should have known that this would happen. After being raised within a devoted Mormon family, it wasn’t a complete surprise that they would react in this way so he shouldn’t have been so shocked when they told him to pack his things and leave.

After spending all this time crashing on his best friend’s couch, Connor believed it was time to find his own place. Although he truly did appreciate Chris’ kind gesture of hospitality, he couldn’t bare another night of being forced into listening to his best friend engaging in highly sexual activities with his boyfriend. The red headed boy had spent days surfing through countless roommate advertisements, most of which didn’t work out due to him being too late to call or because Connor could not see himself sharing his life with the other person. 

He was so close to giving up and just accepting the fact he’d have to stay with Chris forever until he found the flyer written by this so-called, _Kevin_. The boy was quick to pull out his phone and dial the number, quietly praying to himself that it wasn’t already taken or that the voice on the other end was that of a sixty-year-old man. 

“Hello?” said the voice in a sleepy manner, as if this phone call has woken him up from an afternoon nap.

“Yeah – hi… Is this Kevin? I saw your flyer for a roommate and I was wondering if it was still available?”

And with that, the voice on the other end of the phone suddenly perked up and said, “Wow – I wasn’t expecting to get a call this quickly. I just put up those flyers a couple of hours a go. I can give you my address if you’d like the come check it out? The sooner someone moves in here, the better.” Kevin was rambling at this point, hoping that his eagerness wasn’t going to scare this hopeful roommate away before they even had the chance to meet.

“That would be great! I can come over right now if that works?” Connor responded, feeling a small smile grow onto his lips as a wash of relief came over him upon discovering that he might finally have found a new place to live and a real bed to sleep in after spending six weeks curled up on a crappy couch.  


Connor wasn’t kidding when he said he would be over right away. The second their conversation was over, he was quick to grab his coat and make his way to the address he was provided, hoping that this wasn’t too good to be true and that this guy and apartment was a legitimate option for him.

The apartment block that Kevin lived in looked well from the outside. It rose by six floors and was relatively modern from what he could tell. The location was perfect for him, being just ten minutes from college and his job at the local diner. After being buzzed in, Connor made his way to apartment 4D and took a deep breath before knocking quietly on the door.

It only took several seconds for Kevin to open up, a bright smile plastered onto his face and his hair slightly messy as if he had spent the last twenty minutes ensuring that his apartment was presentable and didn’t care to think that he may not be looking at his best.

“Hey – I’m Kevin. Kevin Price.” He said, holding out a hand for the other to shake.

Connor was slightly taken aback by the boy who opened the door. He couldn’t have been any older than himself and he certainly couldn’t deny that he was extremely attractive, despite his slightly unkempt appearance. He certainly wasn’t what he was expecting but he wasn’t going to waste his time complaining.

“Connor McKinley.” He responded, giving him a firm handshake before he retreated his hand back to the pocket of his jacket. Kevin was quick to invite the other inside to view the apartment. It wasn’t huge, but it had everything they would need and enough space to handle two young men. There was a reasonably sized living area with a small kitchen and three other doors which led to two bedrooms and a bathroom. It was perfect for Connor, this whole thing was perfect.

“My last roommate buggered off without having the decency to pay the rent so I guess you could say I’m pretty desperate to find someone new.” The dark-haired man explained as he followed the other while he inspected the whole apartment. “I’m not too strict about who I live with, just as long as you’re clean, don’t smoke or do drugs, I’m down.”  


Connor couldn’t help but laugh slightly at that as he turned around to look at the other male. “I like to think I’m a pretty clean person and I have never touched a cigarette or any kind of drug in my life.” He replies, keeping the gentle smile on his face while he does so. “If I’m honest, I’m just as desperate as you are. I’ve been sleeping on a couch for over a month, I need a proper place to crash. Everywhere I’ve tried has either already been taken or the person renting the room is a total creep. I went to this guy’s place who had what looked like animal carcases hanging on the walls… Safe to say I didn’t go through with that one.” 

“I can assure you that I don’t have any strange hobbies that could scare you off.” Kevin responds with a slight laugh as he runs a hand through his messy hair. “I spent most of my days working, if I’m honest. I’m quite busy with college so the atmosphere around here is always rather chilled out. No wild parties or anything like that.”

“Ah, a fellow Utah Ute, huh?” Connor smiles, referring to the collective name used for students at the University of Utah. “What’s your major?”

“English.” He nods. “And you?”

“Musical Theatre.” 

“So you’re a theatre nerd?” Kevin didn’t mean to sound rude when he made this comment, in fact, he found it endearing. Connor just flushed red in response, gently nodding his head, suddenly feeling embarrassed about his choice of study, even though he has never felt any shame in it before.  
“I am… Is that a problem?”

“Oh, God no, not at all. I like theatre. Just don’t tell anyone I said that.” He tells him with a smile. Connor liked his smile, he felt as if it lit up the room --- like it could light up any room, but he was never going to admit that out loud. There was no way he could ever admit that out loud.  
“Your secret is safe with me. Promise.”

“Great. Because if you were to tell anyone, I would almost certainly have to kill you.” There was a slight sense of seriousness to his tone, but the overall playfulness of the threat couldn’t help but be dominant.

\---

“Crap – is that the time?” Connor says as his phone lights up, the clock reading ‘9:06pm.’ It had been hours since the boy arrived, eager to have a quick look at the apartment and meet the guy who had the room on offer. However, the last thing he was expecting was to still be here several hours later, engaged in conversation with him, talking as if they had known one another for years, not as if they just met earlier this afternoon.

Kevin couldn’t even help but feel slightly disappointed upon realising that time had slipped away from them. Their conversation just flowed so effortlessly and neither of them realised just how much time they had spent getting to know one another. “Hey, look –“he says while standing up from his position on the couch. “The room is yours if you want it... You can stop by tomorrow to give the deposit to the landlord then you can move in right away.”

Connor’s eyes lit up at that suggestion, unable to hide his excitement at the idea of finally having a new place to live. “Are you sure?”

“Of course, I’m sure! From what I can tell, you seem like a good guy and you don’t look like you’ll cause any trouble or just take off without paying the rent.” He laughs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. 

“Thank you, Kevin. I really appreciate it.” Says Connor as he stands, his eyes looking upwards to gaze at the taller of the pair, holding out his hand to request yet another handshake to show his true gratitude for the other male’s offer.

“Welcome to the building, Connor.”

Little did Connor know just how much Kevin Price and this apartment was going to change his life.


	2. Chapter 2

“Is this everything?” Kevin asks as he helps the other male carry a box of his belongings into his new room, placing it down carefully onto the floor next to his bed. “Is this all you own?”

“Yeah, uh – when I left home I didn’t really bring much with me.” Connor shrugs, not looking up at Kevin while he precisely folded his clothes, deciding where he was going to store everything within the large amount of closet space that he clearly didn’t need.

“Why’d you leave home?” Kevin didn’t know if he was crossing a line by asking this, they had only known one another for several days after all.

“Truthfully, I didn’t leave. My parents kicked me out. Told me to pack my things and get out so that’s what I did. I’m not that strong so I just packed what I needed. That’s why I didn’t pack much.”

Kevin fell silent and just nodded, deciding not to force him into telling him anything else. What could he possibly have done to make his parents do something so drastic to their own son? He was curious but he certainly wasn’t going to ask. Instead, his eyes just scanned over the box in front of him, inspecting the few belongings that he brought with him. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were a musical theatre nerd.” He comments, looking through his collection of CDs and posters. “Les Mis, Hairspray, Hamilton… Newsies? I’ve never heard of that one.” 

“You haven’t? It’s one of my favorites. I’ve seen it five times. It’s a true story about the newsboy strike of 1899. The score and the choreography is amazing. I mean – it didn’t win those Tony Awards a few years back for nothing.” Connor was rambling at this point, talking so fast that it seemed for a second that he may not even stop. “Gosh, I’m sorry. You don’t want to listen to me talk about this kind of thing. I just get carried away sometimes, don’t be afraid to just tell me to shut up if I annoy you.”

“No need to apologize. We all have something we’re passionate about. For me, I could ramble on for days about classic American literature and I know for a fact that no one wants to hear that.” He laughs, grabbing more things from the box and placing them onto the bed so Connor could put them where he so desires. “Feel free to decorate the room as you wish. Of course, this place is just a rental so you can’t go too overboard but you can put up pictures or anything that’ll make you comfortable.”

Connor can’t help but smile at the suggestion and simply nodded his head while he finished unpacking all his belongings. The room wasn’t huge, but it was enough for him. He didn’t need much more than what he had and honestly, anything was better than sleeping on a crappy couch, being forced to listen to your best friend get it on with their significant other. 

At some point during his time unpacking, Kevin announced that he was going to the library to pick up some books for an upcoming assignment, leaving Connor alone in his new apartment. Sure, the circumstances weren’t great. Being kicked out of his home wasn’t ideal, but it has given him a reason to go out and see the world and experience the independence that he didn’t have before.

He had been alone for around ten minutes when his silence was disturbed by the sound of a knock at the door. He just assumed that Kevin had left without his keys and he’s probably be very thankful that he had a new roommate to let him back inside. Connor rushed to the door and opened it up, surprised to see a stranger standing there with a pizza in his hands.

“Ah! You must be the new roommate!” He says as he runs into the apartment, a wide smile on his face, bubbling with more excitement than he was expecting when he opened the door. “I’m Arnold. Kevin’s best friend!” Connor’s mind goes back to the conversation they had several nights before, trying to remember if the name Arnold came up while they took the time to get to know one another. It didn’t ring any bells but he was too polite to say that he wasn’t aware of who he was.

“Oh, well, hello. I’m Connor. Connor McKinley.” The red head responds as he closes the door to the apartment and took a second to inspect their guest. He seemed to be the exact opposite of Kevin. He was rather short and seemed to have more energy than Connor and Kevin added together. Then again, opposites do attract.

“Did Kev not tell you that I was coming over? We have a pizza night once a month and we watch Star Wars. He doesn’t even like Star Wars but he watches it just because I like it. Do you like it?” 

“I’ve never actually seen any Star Wars films.” And just as Connor says that, he can sense the shock the overcame him when he dropped that bombshell upon him. Star Wars never appealed to Connor. He knows he sat through a half hour of ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ several years ago but it didn’t entertain him whatsoever. If anything, he thinks the entire franchise is extremely over rated. He’d take a Harry Potter marathon over Star Wars any day of the week. However, it’s best he doesn’t admit that out loud in case he caused any more offence to this guy who seemed to be pretty invested in the series.

“That is just unacceptable, Connor McKinley. Usually pizza night is a tradition for me and Kevin but I’d be willing to let you join us... Where is Kevin anyway?”  


“He went to the library. He needed to get a book for an assignment. He should be back soon.”

And with that, Arnold rushes over to the couch and began to get himself comfortable, kicking off his shoes and pulling a collection of DVDs from his messenger bag. Connor didn’t have many friends. He had Chris and his boyfriend James, but other than that, he was extremely unpopular. He didn’t particularly mind this, though. Popularity wasn’t something he believed to be essential in life so he never made an effort to befriend people who showed no interest in wanting to be associated with him. Things might change now, though. And Connor didn’t particularly mind.

Connor and Arnold kept up a small amount of conversation while they waited for Kevin to return home. Well, by that, Arnold spoke a lot and Connor just listened while he told crazy stories about his best friend. From what he can tell, Arnold greatly admired his roommate, constantly referring to him as ‘awesome’ while he listed off all of his positive traits. It was another ten minutes before Kevin wandered in through the door, several books stacked up in his grip and black rimmed glasses framing his face.

“So, I see you two have met,” he smiles, kicking the door closed with his foot and setting the selection of books down onto the kitchen counter.

“I think I approve of the new roommate. Just don’t replace him as your best friend. He’s never seen Star Wars, though. I don’t think that’s normal but there’s a first time for everything, I guess.”

Kevin shrugs off his jacket and collapses down onto the couch between the other two, instantly kicking up his feet and picking up the biggest slice of pizza he could find. “He’s a musical theatre major, of course he hasn’t seen Star Wars.” Kevin teases, taking a large bite of his pizza while he did so.

“Musical theatre? So, do you like, sing and stuff?”

“I do.” Connor nod, suddenly beginning to shy off a little. He never was too fond of talking about himself in great detail yet he doubts he’d be able to avoid the personal topics given how curious Arnold seemed to be.

Connor had been passionate about performing since he was a little kid. He’s actually quite surprised that his parents didn’t catch onto the fact he wasn’t straight. Instead of asking for a baseball glove or any of those other stereotypically male gifts, he begged for tap shoes for his tenth birthday and then for tickets to New York to see Wicked when he turned fifteen. However, he had never actually been in a relationship, therefore, he never made it clear to them that he wasn’t just a man who embraced his feminine side, but a man who was attracted to other men. 

“You should totally sing for us sometime.” Arnold suggested, gaining a quick rejection from Connor who frantically shook his head and began to turn a light shade of red.  


“Why not?” Kevin interjects, eyeing up the red-haired boy. “Surely you perform for people all the time. It shouldn’t be that nerve wrecking.”  


“Well, yeah, I do… But it’s actually scarier to perform for a smaller crowd in my opinion. If you really want to see me perform there is a showcase at the end of the month… You should come along.”

Kevin lit up at that idea and nodded his head, with Arnold quickly mirroring that action. “Count us in.” Says Arnold, nudging Connor’s shoulder out of pure excitement.

\---

“I’m sorry if he was a bit much. Arnold has a lot of energy.” Kevin says as they were left alone once more. It’s true, he did have a lot of energy, but Connor didn’t mind. He wasn’t used to being surrounded by people as open and friendly as Arnold, yes, he may be a bit loud but it was new for Connor. Refreshing almost.  


“No need to apologize. We had a nice talk before you got here. He seems to think a lot of you.” 

Kevin smiles at that, nodding his head as he moves to the kitchen to clean up some dirty dishes. “He does, at first I thought it was strange. He declared that we were best friends from the moment we met. It was weird but I realised he meant well so I just accepted it.

“How’d you guys meet?”

“Through the church. Believe it or not, but until the age of seventeen I was the poster boy for Mormonism.” He laughs, somewhat bitterly. “Not so much anymore though. We both kind of abandoned the whole thing, hence the reason we’re here. We could have been off on our mission. It’s the most important time of a Mormon kid’s life after all. I could have been somewhere incredible like Norway or France or Orlando but then we just kinda… woke up I guess.” He suddenly cuts himself off with another bitter laugh, shaking his head slightly. “Sorry – I shouldn’t go off about religion, it’s not really a fun thing to discuss.”

“Oh, no, no – don’t apologize. I also come from a Mormon family. I don’t particularly follow the faith anymore, either.” 

Kevin nods and looks over at Connor, his hands wrapped in a washcloth as he spoke. “What made you leave the church?”

With that question, Connor just froze for several seconds before shifting awkwardly on his feet. “Well, uh – remember how I told you that I got kicked out of my home?” Kevin nods. “I got kicked out because I told my parents that I’m… That I’m gay. And you know – Mormon families don’t really agree with that kind of thing.”

Instead of looking disgusted or unimpressed, which Connor was secretly expecting, Kevin frowns and instantly stops what he is doing. “Oh… I’m sorry. That really sucks.” He says, giving Connor a sympathetic glance as he does so. His response makes him exhale a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. Admitting his sexuality wasn’t something he often did during conversation. He used to just turn it off. Repress his true feelings so he didn’t have to admit who he was. One day turning it off just became too much for him so he came out, he told his parents and it came back to bite him in the ass. He wasn’t ashamed of who he was but not having his parent’s approval made it harder for him to accept it.

“You seem nervous… Were you afraid I was going to say you couldn’t be my roommate because you’re gay?” Connor falls silent at that and softly nods his head. It may be stupid of him to just assume that everyone is going to disapprove but it’s all he knows. He doesn’t know people to be so accepting of who he was, no one except for Chris, that is.

“There’s no need to worry, buddy. It doesn’t bother me, swear. Be whoever you wanna be.”

And with that, Connor knew he made the right decision.


	3. Chapter 3

“McKinley! Get up! You’re going to make me late!” Kevin’s voice was muffled as he swings open the door to Connor’s bedroom, his toothbrush hanging from his lips while his mouth was full of foamy toothpaste. There were only three days where Kevin and Connor both had 9am classes, meaning that they had to be up bright and early if they intended on showing up on time. Connor enjoyed the days he got to walk to campus with Kevin. They often stopped off to get breakfast muffins before they eventually went their separate ways to go about their day.

Connor could never stop thinking about Kevin. He could never get that smile out of his head. He could never get the sound of his voice to stop ringing through his ears. It had only been a month, but he knew that he was completely infatuated by the one and only Kevin Price. 

He spots him on campus on a regular basis but he doesn’t dare approach him. Not while he is surrounded by a group of people who seemed to be just as fascinated by him as he was. That’s the thing about Kevin, he’s amazing at pretty much everything – and he knows it. That’s perhaps his biggest flaw. The fact that he excels in almost everything and doesn’t hide that fact is slightly infuriating but Connor doesn’t mind. If it was anyone else he’d probably find it annoying or horribly self-centred, but not Kevin, with him, he finds it oddly attractive. It may be a flaw, but it makes him who he is and he likes it. More than he probably should.

“Okay, okay – I’m up.” Connor announces as he flips over onto his back and slowly opens his eyes, taking a few seconds to adjust to the bright sunlight that was shining in through the window. 

“You really should set an alarm, you know? Kevin smirks as he wanders back into the bathroom to finish cleaning his teeth.

“Why would I do that when I have you to wake me up at this ungodly hour?” He laughs, swinging his legs off the side of the bed and running his hands through his messy bed hair. He then stands up and moves to the other side of the room to search through his drawers, trying to pick out his outfit for the day. It wasn’t a hard decision, really. His signature look was a button-down shirt, covered over with a sweater and paired with black pants. Nothing too stylish but it worked for him. He quickly got changed and fixed his hair in the mirror before cleaning his teeth and declaring to the other that he was ready to leave.

Kevin shook his head.

“What? Is something wrong? Is there something in my hair?” Connor questioned, a look of confusion plastered onto his face.

“You have too many buttons done up on your shirt.” Kevin replies, taking a few steps closer to him, reaching out to undo the top two buttons himself. Connor practically froze while he did this, his breath hitching in this throat as the other carried out the simple action. They were never in such close proximity and he didn’t really know how to react.  
“There. Much better.” He comments, a smile creeping onto his lips. The same smile he does when he is proud of himself for achieving something brilliant like when he got the highest grade on his creative writing assignment last week. 

“Oh, thanks.” Connor turned to glance in the mirror, nodding at the slight change to his appearance that truthfully did make him look ten times better and less like the nerd he was used to being. 

The walk to campus was rather quick. On most days, Connor made it to his class within fifteen minutes. However, with Kevin it took slightly longer as he was a slower walker and Connor certainly didn’t want to rush their time together.

“You have rehearsals today, right? For your big showcase?” Kevin asked as they walked along the semi-crowded street, mainly full of fellow students who were also making their way to the university.

“Yeah, I do. I probably won’t be home until pretty late so don’t wait to have dinner or anything. I’ll just eat when I get back.”

“Can I come watch?” Connor was quite surprised at the request. It made him nervous. More nervous than he cared to admit. Should he lie to him and say that no one was allowed to watch unless they were involved? No – he couldn’t do that. He’d probably find out he was lying, anyway. Connor had always been a terrible liar. 

“You’d really want to come watch?”

Kevin just nodded, another smile plastered onto his lips. Connor couldn’t possibly say no.

“Well, okay – It’s at the Brigham Theatre on campus. The one near the Psychology building. Rehearsals start at one but you can stop by whenever you’d like. Just tell them you’re with me and they’ll let you in and tell you where to go.” He explains, watching as Kevin just continues to nod and smile in his direction.

Although they managed to keep up a pretty sold friendship while at home, it didn’t transfer to the campus. Once they reached the college, they went their separate ways and lived their different lives. Kevin was one of the most popular guys around. As soon as they walk through the gates, there are countless numbers of people waiting to greet him so they could go to class forever. Connor wonders what that life was like. He wanted to know how it felt to have everyone know your name and want to be your friend. It’s a life he’s never going to know.

After his first class of the day, Connor walked to his usual spot under a tree in the heart of the campus. The university was surrounded by mountains and the buildings were scattered throughout Salt Lake City. It was perfect, especially for a guy who appreciated beautiful scenery. He pulled his copy of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ by William Shakespeare out of his backpack and began to read through his lines, trying his best to learn them as quickly as he possibly could. However, it was no use. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kevin. He tried to focus on the wonderful work of literature that he had within his hands, yet his focus was solely on him. Nothing else. Just him.  
When rehearsals came around, Connor was terrified. The annual University of Utah Showcase was one of the biggest events on the theatre calendar in the state. Like minded students from the music, acting and theatre faculties within the college were all invited to perform a piece of their choice. This year, Connor was roped into performing alongside some of his classmates from his tap class. Sadly, his position mainly included him dancing in the background while Samantha channelled her inner Sutton Foster and belts out ‘Anything Goes.’ It wasn’t his ideal performance, but it was better than nothing. 

“Connor! There’s people here for you.” Says a voice from behind him as he was sliding his tap shoes onto his feet. He instantly turns around, smiling slightly as he lays eyes on Kevin, Arnold and a girl he didn’t recognised.

“Hey guys.”

“Hey, Connor. I hope you don’t mind I brought some people. When I told Arnold that I was coming by to watch you rehearse he begged to come along.” Kevin explained, not knowing if he had crossed a line or not by inviting more people that what Connor was expecting.

“It’s no problem. I don’t mind. The more the merrier.” He replies, eyeing up the female, waiting for someone to introduce her to him.

“This is Na – Nala…” Arnold begins, seemingly having trouble with the pronunciation of her name.

“—Nabulungi.” The girl interjects, with an accent which made it clear to him that she was from some foreign land. Maybe Africa. It sounded like she was African. She was short, much shorter than himself and she had a huge head of hair, how she manages that, he isn’t sure but he was definitely not going to ask.

“It’s nice to meet you, Nabulungi.” Connor offers the girl a wide smile, which she gratefully returned. He looked at Arnold and Nabulungi for a few seconds, trying to figure out if they were anything more than just friends without having to ask in case they weren’t and he makes things awkward. He has a tendency to make things awkward. After a closer look, he didn’t think they were. 

\---

“That was freaking incredible, Connor!” Exclaims Arnold as the group reconnects backstage after watching Connor and the rest of his group rehearse their number at least five times.

Connor blushed. “I wasn’t _that_ good.”

“Yes, you were.” Kevin agrees, flashing his signature smile. “How did you even learn to dance like that? Your feet were moving like crazy.”

Connor kept blushing. He wasn’t used to getting compliments. Usually he blended into the background and no one ever paid attention to him. Then again, he rarely ever had anyone there to watch him. No one ever cared enough to come see him perform. “Well… thanks.” He muttered, his hand running through his red hair.

Just a few seconds later, Arnold announced that him and Nabulungi had to rush off if they wanted to make it to their 4pm class, leaving Kevin and Connor alone in the theatre.

“So, what’s the deal with those two? Are they dating or something?” He asks out of pure curiosity.

Kevin just laughs and shakes his head. “Arnold couldn’t ask out a girl no matter how hard he tries. I can tell he wants to, though but there is no way he’d ever have the balls to actually do it. I’m pretty sure she likes him back but both of them are just too awkward.”

“Maybe we should set them up. Trick them into going out on a real date or something.” Connor suggested with a nonchalant shrug to which, Kevin just grinned.

“I like the way you think, Connor McKinley. What kind of thing do you have in mind?”

“We could invite them out for dinner and say it is going to be the four of us but then me and you just don’t show up, leaving the two of them alone. We could spy on them instead.”

Kevin keeps grinning and reaches into his pocket to pull out his cell phone. “Would Friday night work?”

This was strange for Connor. He wasn’t used to making crazy plans with someone he was able to call a friend. He certainly wasn’t complaining, though. He enjoyed it.  


“Friday night works fine for me.”

Even if he wasn't free, he probably would have cancelled any other plans he had just so he could have an excuse to hang out with Kevin.

“Perfect. I’ll shoot them a text and get it organised… Nice thinking, Con.”

No one was allowed to call him Con except for his little sister. Though, for Kevin Price, he was willing to make an exception. Only for Kevin Price.


	4. Chapter 4

Things did begin to change for Connor and he couldn’t possibly be happier about in. Over the next few days, the amount of time he spent alone was reduced significantly. Kevin introduced him to some of his closest friends who were all willing enough to allow him into their seemingly tight knit circle that many of their fellow students would love to be a part of. He was also spending more time with Arnold even though he was warned by many that he was known as a pathological liar. He didn’t seem to have bad intentions, though. It was as if he lies because he has low self-esteem and is desperate to fit in with his peers. Despite this, he was a nice guy and Connor was willing to look past his little problem, especially given the fact he was Kevin’s best friend.

“Whatcha’ reading?” Kevin asks as he emerges from his room, looking over at Connor who was sat upon the couch, reading from his notebook. The sound of his voice startled him, his attention being solely on the words he was looking at, rather than his surroundings.

“Oh, it’s just some notes I was given on my performance in class today. Apparently the delivery of my Glass Menagerie monologue wasn’t up to the standard of the rest of the class so I’ve been told all the crap I have to improve on if I want to get an A. He’s pretty much telling me that I’m not many enough to take on a Tom Wingfield speech.” He explains, shifting his position on the couch which would give Kevin room to sit down if he wanted to. He did.

“Ah, so that’s what you were doing this morning. It was like 2am and I heard you talking in your room. I thought you were going crazy or something.” Connor was slightly embarrassed as Kevin admits he heard him rehearsing until the early hours of the morning. He doesn’t know why he was so embarrassed, he was never embarrassed by his passion in life. There was just something about Kevin overhearing him which made him slightly uneasy.

“Why were you awake at 2am?” He asks, changing the subject.

Kevin shrugs. “Couldn’t sleep, I guess. It happens sometimes.” 

Connor just nods slightly then presses the button on his phone to display the time. “Shoot – I have to go to work.” He says with a sigh slipping from his lips. He didn’t mind his job at the movie theatre, there were just some days where he would rather stay at home and relax rather than spent eight hours selling tickets and serving popcorn. The pay wasn’t great, but it was enough to help him keep food on his plate and a roof over his head so he was willing to deal with it. For now, at least. If Connor didn’t know any better, he would say that Kevin looked slightly disappointed when he announced that he wasn’t able to stay to continue their conversation. He must be mistaken, though. Reading the signs wrong or something. He wasn’t very good at interpreting looks or body language.

He was quick to change into his uniform which included him wearing a black bow tie and a red waistcoat. He thought he actually looked rather handsome in these ridiculous clothes. He doubts anyone else thinks the same, though. 

His days at work were always the same. He stood behind the counter, put on a fake smile and repeated the same scripted phrase at least two hundred times. It was boring and predictable but at least it was something.

“Connor? Connor McKinley?” says a hauntingly familiar voice from behind him as he stacked candy bars onto the empty display shelves. Connor instantly turns around, his eyes falling onto someone he hadn’t seen in several years.

“Steve,” is all he managed to say while he shifted slightly on his feet. 

Steve Blade. The only person that Connor has ever had feelings for, well, before Kevin that is. In fact, this was the guy who made him realise that he wasn’t like the other kids. He was in the fifth grade when he started having these strange feelings for Steve. He didn’t know what they were at the time, it took him several years to come to the conclusion that he liked him rather than living one of the pretty girls in his class. He was his first kiss and also his first heartbreak. One of the people he hoped he never had to see again. He was still as attractive as he was several years ago. He was tall, had messy brown hair and a very strong build. He was nothing compared to Kevin, though. Kevin was everything he wanted in a person and Steve was okay, but not what he wanted.

“I haven’t seen you since Troy Jameson’s graduation party… How’re you doing?” He asks, a curious yet gentle smile appearing on his lips.

“I’m good. Really good, actually. Things are good. So good.” Connor was obviously nervous, evident in his repeating of a work that certainly doesn’t need to be repeated more than once to get his point across. In fact, the more he said it, the less successful he was in convincing anyone that he was good.

“That’s good. You look good.” Steve replies, eyeing up Connor for a little longer than he was comfortable with. “Look, I, uh – I never got a chance to apologize for the way I acted that night. You rushed off before I could say anything and then you never returned my calls.”

“Yeah, there was a reason for that, Steve.” He says bluntly, trying his best to focus on the job he should be doing, rather than allowing himself to be distracted by the man who stood before him.

“Then maybe you should let me try to make it up to you now. I’ve been trying this whole reinvention thing recently and I feel like the earth is telling me something by making me bump into you today.” 

Connor was a rather forgiving person and he was still trying to figure out whether or not this was a good thing or a bad thing. He was normally quick to forgive people who wronged him but Steve was an exception to that. Steve humiliated him in front of everyone they knew and he didn’t forgive him for that. He still hadn’t forgiven him after two years.

“I’d rather not.” He shrugs with a frown.

“C’mon, Connor… Let me buy you a hot chocolate after your shift. Let me talk to you and if you still don’t want to see me again after that then I’ll leave you alone. Just – give me a chance. Please.”

Connor goes silent, looking around the complex to ensure that this conversation wasn’t holding him up from serving any customers. 

“Fine,” he mumbles. “My shift finishes at eight.”

“Thank you… I’ll see you then.”

\--- 

When Connor’s shift ended, he was dreading the encounter he was going to have with Steve. They were never in a relationship, not exactly, they never actually put a label on it. They just hung out a lot and did things that normal friends wouldn’t do. Then he broke his heart. At Troy Jameson’s graduation party, he walked into a bedroom and saw him making out with some other guy. It hurt him more than it probably should have. Like he said, they weren’t dating but the feelings Connor had for him were strong, stronger than he cared to admit.

Connor sighed as he caught sight of the other propped up against a wall, slowly walking over to him, his body filling with dread as he wished he didn’t agree to this. Wished he just denied his attempts at reconciliation rather than being his usual self and giving everyone who has wronged him a second chance.  
“Thanks for agreeing to this.” Steve spoke as he approached him. Connor just nodded slightly, not knowing what he would possibly say to him after all of this time they spent apart.

“I know I messed up… I know I hurt you and I’m sorry about that. I’m truly sorry. But I’ve changed and I know that everyone says that even though they have never really changed but I have. I swear to you I – “

“Listen, I don’t really care what you have to say. Connor interrupted. “It happened and I don’t need your apology now. I needed it two years ago, not now, not when I’m completely over it and over you. I’ve moved on, Steve.”

“Connor…” Steve sighs, shifting on his feet. “I liked you, I really did and when I saw you in that theatre I spent five minutes trying to decide whether or not I was going to talk to you or just get David to buy the tickets while I hid in the bathroom.” He continues, trying to meet Connor’s gaze even though he was trying very hard to avoid it. “You were the first guy I ever liked and I messed it up… I’m not trying to force you into taking me back. I just don’t want you to think of me as some asshole who used you and just set out to hurt you. I’m not that guy, I promise.”

Connor didn’t really know what to say. He was way too forgiving, way too nice to the people who probably didn’t deserve his kindness. He couldn’t help it, though. He has always preferred to see the good in people rather that dwell on the bad.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do, Steve… I was completely humiliated that night. You knew that I found it hard to accept myself and you took advantage of my vulnerability. It was mortifying.”

Steve frowned and nodded his head, taking a small step closer to Connor, but to him, it felt as if there was no space left between them. 

“I want to know you again, Connor.” 

“And what makes you think that I want to know you? I’m not the same person I was in high school. I’m not some scared little Mormon boy who needs protecting.”

“I’m not the same person I was, either. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m trying to fix things with you.” He explains with a sense of authenticity behind his tone that Connor wasn’t familiar with.

“What exactly are you trying to achieve with this?” Connor asks, his arms folding across his body to help maintain the heat that was slowly beginning to escape due to the harsh autumn air.

“I don’t know… I can’t exactly say I woke up this morning with the intention of bumping into someone I haven’t seen in two years and make an attempt at making things better. I just saw you and everything came flooding back to me, I guess.” He shrugs. “I’m sorry if seeing me just reminded you about things you’d rather forget. I just, I decided that I couldn’t just ignore you. It didn’t feel right to ignore you.”

Connor truly did feel as if the other was being sincere. That may just be his naivety taking over, but he doesn’t think so. He did think Steve was being honest with him and he appreciated that.

“Let’s just – not talk out here, yeah? We can go somewhere else and you can buy the hot chocolate you promised me.” He suggests, causing a small smile to form onto Steve’s lips. He had a nice smile but it definitely wasn’t as nice as Kevin’s.


	5. Chapter 5

“You’re home a lot later than I was expecting. I thought your shift ended at eight?” Kevin says as Connor arrives back at the apartment, two and a half hours later than he usually did when he worked his long shifts.

The evening went a lot better than Connor was expecting when Steve randomly showed up in his life again and requested that they reconnect. Truthfully, he was expecting it to end with him getting upset and storming out in some dramatic moment as if he was on a show on The CW. Their time together was actually nice and for a while he completely forgot everything that went wrong. He did seem to be a good guy but he knows for a fact that he wasn’t going to trust him anytime soon. Trust has to be earned and it is exceptionally difficult to regain it once it has been lost.

“It did. I went to get hot chocolate with a… _friend._ ” He honestly doesn’t know what to call him at this point. It was probably a bit too soon to call them friends but he wasn’t really in the mood to explain the whole story to Kevin. 

“A friend?” Kevin repeats, his eyebrows raising as a sly smirk appeared on his face. “Was this friend a guy by any chance?” He asks, putting down his book to give the other his full attention. 

“Yes, it was a guy. But we’re just friends, don’t worry, I’m not going to leave you alone in the singles club since after tomorrow night Arnold and Naba might finally be together.” Connor jokes, wandering to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water before going to flop himself down onto the couch.

“If you do get together just remember, no sex on the couch. Leave it for the bedroom, alright?” He teased, causing Connor to blush intensely. Sex wasn’t something that he had ever thought about for obvious reasons. Of course, he was still a virgin, mainly because he was waiting for the right person. At this point he was starting to doubt that he’d ever find the right person. He was twenty years old and had never been in a real relationship. He would never admit that, though. It was awfully embarrassing in today’s day and age.  


“Gosh, Kevin. Shut up.” He protests, grabbing one of the pillows from the couch to throw in the direction of his roommate, causing the dark-haired male to burst out into a few seconds of laughter. Connor took this time to look at Kevin as he tipped his head back and closed his eyes while letting out the most beautiful sound. He was wearing his glasses. He only has to wear them for reading but he wished he wore them more often. In his opinion, there was nothing more attractive than a man wearing glasses.

“Who was the guy you were with? Do I know him?”

“It’s just this guy I’ve known since elementary school. I haven’t seen him in a few years and we were just catching up.” Connor shrugs, opening the bottle of water and taking a large sip. A part of him wants to talk to Kevin about the situation so he could gain his opinion on if he should give Steve a second chance or not but another part of him didn’t feel right about talking to him about it. He wasn’t exactly sure if they were close enough for that yet. They had only been living with one another for a month.  


“That’s nice. I love bumping into people I haven’t seen in a while. It’s always interesting to see what people are doing with their lives. If I bump into anyone who knew me when I was a child, they are often pretty horrified to hear that I’ve become less connected with the church. It’s actually rather entertaining.” 

“Oh, and what are we doing about tomorrow night? Arnold keeps asking where we’re having dinner and it made me realise that we haven’t planned anything for him and Naba.” He was quick to change the subject, but Connor didn’t mind. He wasn’t one who enjoyed talking about himself, unlike Kevin. Connor knows that Kevin could talk for hours about himself and his achievements. He didn’t mind this, though. He’s be more than willing to listen.

“I could call that nice place down by the theatre to see if they have a table available for tomorrow night? We could tell them to make their own way there and then call them to say that we’re going to be late so they should go in without us but when they get there it’s just a table for two.” Connor suggests, believing it could be an easy way to trick their two friends into going on an intimate date with one another. From what Connor could tell, Arnold and Naba are both too shy to ever admit their feelings to each other and maybe this push is exactly what they need to finally get what they want, a relationship with one another.

Kevin smiles at the idea, his head nodding in agreement. “That sounds like a brilliant idea. Let’s do that.”

\---

“Should we really be spying on them? It doesn’t feel right to be staring at them through the window.” Connor says to Kevin as they stand outside the restaurant, crouched down slightly so their friends don’t see them if they happened to look over in their direction. 

“We need to make sure that neither of them get freaked out and try to leave. And plus, you can practically feel their awkwardness from here. It’s adorable, don’t you think?” He responds, looking between Connor and the others inside the building.

“They look like they’re having a nice time. Neither of them has stopped smiling since they got in there.” He says, unable to keep himself from smiling as well. He loved seeing his friends happy and he was proud of himself for being part of the reason why Naba and Arnold were going to be happy with one another.

The restaurant Connor picked was one of the nicest in the city and it certainly wasn’t one that Arnold would have chosen if he was given complete control over his first date with Naba. If it were up to him, he would have taken her to a McDonalds drive through and made her pay for her own meal. It was clear that the two of them would have to intervene if Arnold were to have any chance of making a good impression.

“Shoot, I think they saw me. Get down!” Kevin says as he ducks down to the ground, grabbing onto Connor’s arm to pull him down to his level. This sudden action took him by surprise and that was evident by the startled look on his face. He looked over at Kevin, his back up against the wall and a slight laugh slipping from his lips. The whole situation was like something out of a bad romantic comedy movie or cliché Nicholas Sparks novel.

“Should we run?” Connor asks, worried that Arnold would come outside and see the two of them after seemingly catching a glimpse of Kevin as they spent their evening spying on their friends. The two of them didn’t really have to run away from their location. The likelihood of Arnold coming outside to confront them was extremely slim, however, the idea of running sounded fun and both of them believed that. So, with a sneaky smile and a nod of his head, Kevin suddenly jolts upright and starts running down the dark street that was only lit by the fluorescent signs from the busy restaurants and several lights that rose up into the skyline. It takes Connor several seconds to register what had just happened before he begins to follow him, running as fast as he could, hoping that he was able to catch up with him.

When they eventually stop, Kevin is laughing again, mainly because when Connor finally caught up, he was struggling to breathe.

“You know… For a guy who can do an intricate tap number five times in a row without any trouble, I’m surprised you’re struggling so much after running for just thirty seconds.” He comments, looking as if he didn’t just physically exert himself. Connor envied that. Connor envied Kevin’s annoyingly impressive athleticism. Everything about Kevin was annoying impressive.

“That’s because I have a very strict breathing routine when I dance that I think very carefully about. Can’t say that I put much thought into it when you started running through the city.” He retorts, gripping onto his sides as he stands up a little straighter. “We’re near that new donut place, right? Would you want to go grab one? I’ve heard they make the best maple glaze donuts.”

Kevin laughs again, causing Connor’s eyebrows to furrow in confusion at the random outburst that had no obvious relation to his suggestion. Did he say something wrong? Is there something strange about his accent which made him sound funny while saying the word donut?

“What’s so funny?” He asks, starting to get slightly nervous.

“Oh, it’s just that I used to have these crazy nightmares when I was a kid because I ate a maple glaze donut and blamed it on my brother.” Kevin explains. “I had a dream once that Jesus called me a dick and that I was being haunted by Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer… It was really spooky.”

Connor can’t help but chuckle at the story and at how embarrassed Kevin got while he was telling it. He hadn’t seen Kevin be embarrassed before, he was starting to think that he wasn’t capable of being embarrassed. “I had spooky dreams like that when I sinned, too. For a while, I used to have them nightly because… you know… I am what I am. Must be a Mormon thing.” 

Kevin nods in agreement, his hand extending out to pat Connor gently on his back. It was a simple gesture, but Connor liked it. He enjoyed the contact, it didn’t happen often so he learned to appreciate it when it did. He just wished it could be a more regular thing but he was beginning to accept that it was never going to be.


	6. Chapter 6

It was no surprise to him that Arnold and Nabalungi announced that they were in a relationship just a few days after Connor and Kevin decided to meddle in their lives. From what he had been told about the two of them, this relationship was two years in the making and everyone who knew them couldn’t be more relieved that they were finally together -- apparently, they were all getting frustrated by their previous refusal to admit their feelings.

The past few days had also seen Connor spending more time with Steve. Knowing that he didn’t have a chance with Kevin, he was trying his best to forget about the feelings he was developing for him and focus on someone he might actually have a shot with. They spent hours at a local diner, talking about their lives and explaining what the last two years had brought them. Steve decided against going to college. He came from a wealthy family who own their own empire so he was able to go straight from high school into a good job. He also remembered a lot about Connor’s interests and passions, questioning him about his love of theatre before he even had an opportunity to remind him. He appreciated the effort more than he was ready to admit.

“Were you out with Steve again last night?” Kevin questions as Connor emerges from his bedroom, still clad in his pyjamas with his hair extremely messy.

“Yeah…” He responds, a quiet yawn slipping from his mouth as he did so. “I know I was meant to clean the bathroom yesterday, time got away from me. I didn’t realise it was so late. I’ll do it later, I swear.”

“No, no. Don’t worry about it, honestly. It’s not that big of a deal.” Kevin responds, looking up from his book as he did so. That’s another little thing he noticed about Kevin. Anytime he was left alone, he’s indulge himself in a new book. Since he moved in seven weeks ago, he was sure that he had seen him read at least twelve different books, both for his classes and for his own personal pleasure. From looking at him, you wouldn’t think that he was a lover of literature but when he had a book in his hand, it looked so natural and Connor admired that. “You seem to be spending a lot of time with him… Is there something going on there?”

“Something going on between me and Steve? No, gosh, no. It’ll take more than a few nights to regain my trust in him after everything that happened, y’know? I don’t want that to happen to me again.” He shrugs as Kevin nods slightly, closing over his book and putting it carefully down onto the coffee table. Connor walked over to the kitchen, his eyes automatically falling onto an open notebook that sat on the counter. 

“Kev? Did you write this?” He asks, reading the messy handwriting that he knew belonged to Kevin but he was curious as to whether or not these words were actually his own.  


“Oh, yeah. It’s just something I’ve been working on for this national poetry competition. I’ve never really written much poetry. I’ve mainly been into writing stories. I want to write my own novel one day but I saw a flyer in my class a few days back and I just decided I’d give it a shot.” He explains, standing up to walk over to where Connor was standing and gently slide the notebook closer to him. “I know it isn’t very good, but I’m trying.” It was rare for Kevin to admit that he wasn’t very good or something. He was usually extremely cocky no matter what it was. Obviously, when it came to his writing, he was a lot more serious and less willing to be an over-confident jackass, as his friends would call him. Connor would never use those words to describe him. 

“I actually thought it was pretty good, but then again, I know nothing about poetry so I can’t say that I’d be your best critic.” He smiles as he begins moving around to prepare some breakfast before he went to class.

“At least somebody likes it. Your opinion actually means something to me. I trust your judgement a lot more than I trust anyone else’s.” His words meant a lot to Connor. It was nice to know that someone actually cares about what he thinks. Especially when that person is Kevin. “I think I’m going to skip class today to work on some assignments so you’ll be walking on your own today.”

“Now that is just unacceptable, Kevin Price.” He jokes, his tone laced with a false disapproving tone. “I think you should take over bathroom cleaning duties to make it up to me.” He smiles, causing Kevin to simply nod and laugh slightly in response.

“I can do that.”

\---

“Connor! Connor, wait up!” The voice calling his name comes from behind him and he could only faintly hear it over the sound of the ‘Hamilton’ soundtrack he listened to while he made his way to his class. When he turned around, his eyes fell onto Cameron Davis and Spencer Neely. Connor didn’t know Kevin’s friends that well. They had hung out a few times but never without Kevin around. It was nice for him to finally be recognised by people since he was so used to going by unnoticed. 

“Hey guys… What’s up?” He asks, pulling his headphones out of his ears to give them his full attention.

“Where’s Kevin?” Cameron questioned, not used to seeing Connor walk into campus without Kevin by his side. 

“He said he’s skipping class to do an assignment.” He says, resulting in both of them laughing in response. It wasn’t like Kevin to skip a day of classes, he was usually too dedicated to his studies to lose any class time so the more he thought about it, the more he realised that it was extremely out of character for him.

“That’s the excuse he’s giving?” Spencer spoke through his laughter, causing Connor to furrow his eyebrows in confusion. “He asked out this girl Jenna and she totally shot him down in front of the whole class. He’s just embarrassed. I think it was a hit to his giant ego.”

Connor nodded slightly at his explanation, not knowing why it hurt him so much to hear that Kevin had asked out a girl. He knows that Kevin is straight but he’s still holding onto some false hope that one day they would end up together. It was a stupid dream but he just couldn’t let it go. Once you have feelings for someone, it’s hard to just let that go in a matter of days. He was curious to know why this girl shot him down. Kevin was one of the most popular guys on campus, he was sure that anyone would happily go out with him if he asked. Himself included.

“He’s probably not used to the rejection, is he?” Connor asks, not really knowing how else to reply to the news he was just given. He felt bad for Kevin, he really did but a part of him was glad that the girl shot him down. It means he didn’t have to see him with a girl all the time because that would suck for him.

“Definitely not.” Cameron confirms with an affirmative nod of his head. “Kevin pretty much has a perfect life. It’s annoying. Maybe this rejection is what he needed to get his head out of his own ass and realise he’s no better than the rest of us. We love him, but it’s infuriating.”

“Nobody has a perfect life. Everyone has their problems, he’s probably just not that open about it.” Connor was quick to defend him. Knowing that it wasn’t fair for them to believe that Kevin lived a problem-free life. No normal human had a problem-free life. The real world isn’t like a fairy tale. He wished he knew more about Kevin’s life but he wasn’t the kind of person to get information out of people if they aren’t willing to share it. If Kevin wanted to talk to him about personal things he’ll certainly listen to him but until that day comes, he’ll allow him to keep his privacy.

\---

“I heard about what happened yesterday.” Connor said after he had returned home and took a seat next to Kevin on the couch. “With that girl, Jenna, I mean.” He clarifies.  
Kevin sighs slightly before allowing a pathetic laugh to slip from his lips. “How’d you find out? Did my public humiliation really make it to the theatre kids?” There was a slight bitterness behind his tone that he wasn’t used to. He was now able to see that Kevin truly was embarrassed by what had happened to him.  
“No, uh, Cameron and Spencer stopped me on the way into campus. They asked me where you were and then they told me what happened.” He explained. “I’m sorry she did that in front of everyone… That wasn’t cool.”

“I don’t need your pity, Connor. It was just a girl. It wasn’t the end of the world, so just drop it, alright? Don’t try to get involved in something that has nothing to do with you.” He retorts, his voice now slightly laced with annoyance, something that Connor wasn’t used to and it was obvious that he didn’t like it.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t pry. I just wanted to make sure you were feeling alright. I’ll not bother next time.” Connor shrugs, shaking his head before standing up to go into his bedroom, not really wanting to sit with Kevin while he was in such a bad mood, especially if he didn’t want him around. Truthfully, he thought he was slightly overreacting, but he wasn’t going to point that out in case he upset him even more. 

“Connor…” Kevin says with a sigh of frustration as he turned to watch him as he made his way towards his room.

“I’m dropping it, Kevin.” He responds just a second before his door closes behind him. He was convinced something else had happened during the day while he was in class but he wasn’t at liberty to ask. He couldn’t ask without the fear that the other would snap at him again. The last thing Connor wanted to do was cause an argument. Especially with Kevin. He didn’t ever want to argue with Kevin.


	7. Chapter 7

Connor wanted to know what was bothering Kevin so much. He wanted to know what caused the usually happy guy to become extremely snappy and frustrated. It couldn’t just be because of a girl. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would get so upset just because he was rejected by a girl, even if it did put a downer on his pride.

It was 1am before he realised that he was hungry after skipping dinner because he didn’t want to have to leave his room and face Kevin after their very insignificant confrontation earlier on in the evening. Without thinking twice, Connor swung his legs off of the bed and stood up, lazily dragging his feet along the floor as he made his way out of his room, heading straight for the kitchen. That’s when he saw Kevin, lying wide awake on the couch, scribbling into his notebook.

“You’re still awake?” He says as he walks past him, not wanting to create even more tension by not creating conversation. 

It was as if Kevin was so lost within his own thoughts that he felt as if he was the only person in the whole universe. It was the sound of Connor’s voice that pulled him out of his trance and made him come back to earth. “Hmm?” He hums, looking up at the red head through the top frame of his glasses.

“I was just wondering why you’re still awake… It’s like one in the morning.” He responds while he quickly made himself a small bowl of cereal to help relieve his hunger until the morning.

“It is? I didn’t even realise it was so late. I’ve just been sitting here for hours trying to write something that isn’t complete trash.” He shrugs, sitting up a little straighter before a sigh slips from his lips. “I’m sorry about how I acted earlier. I’m just a little stressed out right now, is all.”

“No need to apologize.” Connor was quick to reply as he places the milk back into the refrigerator then grabs the bowl and wanders over to the couch. “May I?” He asks, gesturing towards Kevin’s legs which took up most of the space. Kevin nods and instantly moves, bringing his knees in close to his chest so that his whole body fit onto one of the two couch cushions, giving Connor room to sit down next to him.

“What’s stressing you out so much? I mean, you don’t have to tell me. I’m just letting you know that you can tell me, if you want to.” He says, talking faster than usual. That’s typically what he does when he’s feeling slightly anxious or on edge about something.

“Just… Life, I guess?” Kevin sighs again. “I’m just swamped with all of these assignments. I think I was too confident at the start of the year when I decided to take on so many different classes. I thought I’d be able to handle them all but I don’t think I can.” This was the first time that Kevin had admitted his struggles to Connor during the short time they had been living together. He wanted him to know that he could talk to him if he needed to but he wasn’t sure if he’d be comfortable with that given the fact he hadn’t known him for as long as others like Arnold, Spencer or Cameron. “I mean… If I don’t get good grades, my parents will stop helping me pay rent on this place. They only help me now because they think me living close to the college makes it easier for me when I have early classes and means I have easier access to the resources I need for studying. They have such high expectations for me and I’m going to disappoint them. Just like I disappointed them when I abandoned the church.”

Connor frowns. He knows exactly what it is like to be considered a disappointment to parents. They were the ones who kicked him out, after all. He didn’t want Kevin to have to go through what he went through and he was going to find a way to help him. He didn’t know how, but he was going to try.

“I don’t think you could ever be a disappointment. You’re Kevin Freakin’ Price.” He says with a smile, hoping to bring at least a small amount of reassurance to the other male. “Because you know what? You’re going to enter that poetry competition and you’re going to win it and your parents are going to be so proud of you that they’ll forget about some dumb assignment grade. And then once the contest is over, you’ll go back to being your typical straight A self. You’ve just been pre-occupied with the poetry that you haven’t been putting in as much effort for class assignments. Once it’s all over with, you’ll be back to normal, I know it.” He says confidently before taking a large spoonful of his cereal.

“Why didn’t I know you were so good at giving pep talks?” Kevin asks, smiling back at him, causing Connor to flutter with pride. He always tried to have an optimistic outlook on things but it was rather rare of him to openly share that optimism with other people. He assumed that most of the human race had a rather pessimistic outlook on life and would actually be annoyed by the overwhelming joy and need for happiness that he has inside of him.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Kevin.” He responds with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders while he continues to eat his cereal, not realising how hungry he really was until he started eating.

“Maybe you should tell me some stuff that I don’t know, then.” Kevin suggests with a hopeful look on his face. “I mean, we’ve lived together for almost two months but how much do we really know about each other? We know the important stuff but what about the more insignificant details?”

Connor was surprised by Kevin’s idea, but he certainly wasn’t going to reject it. He was right. They didn’t know the more intricate things about one another. The details that help explain why they were the people they are today. When you live with someone and share your life with them, it’s nice to know more than their name and the basic facts. Connor wanted to know as much about Kevin as he possibly could.

\---

“So, wait – Why do you love Orlando so much?” Connor questioned, holding a cup of hot chocolate between his hands while he sat facing the other male.

“My family took a trip there when I was nine years old. It was truly the most magical place I had ever seen in my life and I decided that it was where I wanted to spend eternity.” He explains, a wide smile appearing on his face as he talks about his favorite place in the whole world. Kevin was just about to open his mouth again but he was cut off by a loud alarm tune ringing from Connor’s phone. The sudden sound startled both of them so Connor was quick to grab his cell phone to shut it off.

“Gosh – it’s 9am already? Did we really talk all night?” They did. Connor had Kevin had been awake for all this time, getting to know everything there was to know about one another. He couldn’t be more glad that they had this conversation. Only Chris knew this much about him and there was honestly no one else he would rather tell his life story to other than Kevin Price.

“I guess we did.” Kevin says as he moves to stand up, stretching out his body that had been stuck in the same position for several hours. 

“It was nice… Thanks for suggesting the idea. I haven’t had anyone to talk to like that for quite a while. Since my parents kicked me out I haven’t really talked to anyone about it. Not even my best friend. It was just hard to talk about, you know?”

Things had been hard for Connor since the last time he saw his parents. He left the family home within hours of them telling him to leave and he hasn’t seen them since. It is the longest he had ever gone without seeing his family. He acted as if he was fine with it, as if he was feeling okay about the fact he had been disowned by the people who were meant to love him unconditionally. He was just a good actor. In reality, he was struggling so much more than he made people believe. The few weeks that he lived with Chris were some of the hardest of his life. He loved Chris, he really did, but it was Kevin that made things better for him. Kevin has helped changed his life. He has introduced him to new people, given him a reason to go out and have fun rather than sit inside all night. He didn’t know how he could possibly thank him for everything he has done. He knows Kevin won’t think he’s done much. He doesn’t think he will understand just how much it meant to him that he took him in as a roommate. It honestly meant the world to him.

“I understand. Well, if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.” Kevin replies, offering the red-haired male a small smile.

“I’m here for you, too, Kevin.”


	8. Chapter 8

Singing in the shower certainly wasn’t something that Connor was unfamiliar with. Every time he got beneath the hot water, he would belt out another classic show tune. Today, his song of choice was ‘Suddenly Seymour’ from Little Shop of Horrors, one of his personal favorites. He sang the song completely acapella but gave it as much heart as he would if were in front of a crowd.

“You have a lovely voice. You should sing around here more often.” Kevin compliments once Connor emerges from the bathroom, clad in nothing but a towel that was tightly wrapped around his waist. The sound of his voice startled him and caused him to jump back slightly. When he went into the bathroom, he was the only one home and he wasn’t expecting the other to be back so soon. 

He had never sung in front of Kevin before. Sure, he was part of the ensemble in the showcase, but his voice wasn’t extremely prominent, this was the first time that he had heard exactly how he sounded. Connor was proud of his voice, he always had been. It was his favorite thing about himself. He loved how he was one of the lucky people who was blessed with a gift such as this. 

Connor had been performing since he was a little kid and this love for musical theatre spawned from his obsession with ‘The Wizard of Oz’ as he was growing up. His first major role was when he played ‘Oliver’ when he was twelve and that experience made him realise that performing was what he wanted to do with his life. His dream was to perform on a Broadway stage but he doubted that it would ever happen. It is such a competitive industry and getting the opportunity to even audition for a broadway show is extremely difficult when you struggle getting spots in smaller productions. Hopefully one day he will have the courage to branch out and experience more in theatre. For now, he was just focussing on school above everything else.

“Thanks.” He blushes, his hand moving up to ruffle through his damp hair. “I really appreciate that.” He wasn’t used to getting compliments on his voice. He’s often outshined by his classmates who aren’t as shy as he was. He didn’t mind it, though but he did know that he liked it when Kevin praised him.

“How’d you get that?” Kevin asks, pointing towards a scar that was located on Connor’s torso. Connor almost automatically feels vulnerable. He never wandered around the apartment with his shirt off, mainly because he was self-conscious about his body. He had seen Kevin shirtless before and he knows that he was nothing compared to him. His body was certainly nothing special.

“Oh, I had to get my appendix out when I was fourteen. It’s just a surgery scar, not really an interesting story, I apologize.” 

He was quick to escape into his bedroom so that he could change into something more substantial that would help cover up the pale skin that was previously on display. When he returned, he walked over towards Kevin who was in the kitchen, beginning preparations for their dinner. They often took turns with the cooking but most of the time it ended in them ordering take out instead. It was admittedly more expensive but it was also much less effort.

“Whatcha cookin’?” Connor asks, his elbows on the counter top as he leaned over closer to the other male.

“I haven’t decided yet. Perhaps spaghetti and some kind of sauce.” Kevin says, his head peeking into their cupboards to see what was available for them to use.

“Need any help?”

“Not really, but I’ll accept it if you’re offering.” 

Connor laughs slightly and moves to sit down on one of the stools that were situated beside the counter. Their kitchen wasn’t huge, but it was big enough for what the two of them needed. Neither of them were particularly good cooks, although Kevin likes to believe he is Utah’s answer to Gordon Ramsay.

“If you weren’t so charming I wouldn’t be offering my help.” He says without thinking but instantly regrets it.

“You think I’m charming?” Kevin replies, turning to look at Connor with an eyebrow raised. Connor wished the ground would swallow him up so he didn’t have to face Kevin after what he had just said.

“Well, I uh,” He stutters, blushing again. “I mean, you know you’re charming. I’m just telling you what you already know.” 

He didn’t really know how to get himself out of this one without embarrassing himself so he was just going to play along with it and just hope that the topic is swiftly changed.  


“You’re quite charming yourself, McKinley.” He says with a wink of his right eye. 

His words cause Connor to freeze for several seconds. Was Kevin flirting with him or was he just thinking too far into it? Surely Kevin Price wouldn’t be flirting with him. That’s just not realistic. He was so incredibly out of his league, there was no way he was flirting with him.

“I am the opposite of charming, but thanks.” He shrugs, acting as if his previous words didn’t faze him at all, even though they took him completely by surprise.

“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know… I just don’t think I’m charming.”

“Well – I think you’re incredibly charming.” Kevin just smiles at him, that wide smile that Connor had learned to adore since he moved in. His smile made him even more attractive, if that were even possible. Connor couldn’t even put into words how beautiful he thought Kevin Price was. Everything about him was just so incredibly special from his dark hair to his refined bone structure, he appreciated every tiny detail about him.

Connor watches as Kevin moves around the kitchen, pulling several ingredients out of the cupboards to start preparing their meal. He has no idea what he should possibly say to do given his overwhelming confusion regarding his previous comment. Kevin continually allows his gaze to shift over to Connor, their eyes meeting briefly before the red head swiftly looks down towards the floor. 

When Connor looks up again, his eyes watch Kevin’s hands as they carefully begin to chop tomatoes, such a simple action, but he made it look like the most interesting thing in the world. Maybe all he has to do is man up and say something. He’d also have to be ready to face rejection, though, as it is more than likely what he would receive from him. However, he didn’t want to risk their friendship and make things awkward between them just because he couldn’t keep his feelings to himself. He could never forgive himself if he did that.

Kevin doesn’t stop stealing glances at Connor, a small, barely noticeable smile on his face every time he did so. Before he could even think about what he was doing, Connor moves around to the other side of the counter where Kevin was standing, which caused the taller male to turn to look at him with confusion.

“You really don’t have to help me, Con. I can do this myself. Go relax or something. Dinner’s on me tonight.” Connor wasn’t even listening to him at this point, he was just looking directly towards him, trying his best to gain the courage he needed to do what he was about to do.

With a deep breath, Connor leans in and softly places his lips against Kevin’s. This was something he had wanted to do since the day he moved in but he didn’t have the courage. He didn’t think he was good enough for Kevin Price but he decided he would go for it anyway. You’ll never know unless you try.


	9. Chapter 9

The kiss only lasted a few short seconds because as soon as Connor had fully registered what he had done, he was pulling away with his eyes wide.

“Gosh, I’m – I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I really should not have done that. I’m sorry.” The red-head was stuttering his words as he walked away from Kevin, unable to look in his direction. He was suddenly filled with an overwhelming sense of regret. No matter how flirtatious he thought Kevin was being, he still shouldn’t have jumped the gun like he just did. Why did he think that this was a good idea? Nothing about what he just did was a good idea. 

Connor shuffled through the apartment and rushed to pull on his shoes. There was no way he could stay here after what he had just done. In all honestly, he doesn’t even know how he could possibly face him ever again. 

“I’m just – I’m gonna go. I’m sorry.” He says, rushing over towards the front door, tripping over a stack of books that was sitting on the floor. Kevin had barely moved since it happened. He was still standing behind the kitchen counter, staring towards Connor with a look of complete disbelief mixed with confusion on his face. He only moved for the first time when he noticed that Connor was edging closer to the door to their apartment. Kevin quickly rushed over and pushed the front door shut, standing in front of it so he couldn’t leave.

Kevin didn’t say anything, though. He didn’t know what he could possibly say, he just knew that he didn’t want Connor to leave after this. He knew they had to talk rather than be left alone. 

“Please move, Kevin.” 

“You kissed me.” Kevin replies bluntly, making it clear that he still hadn’t fully registered what had happened, either. His words made Connor flush with embarrassment. He couldn’t tell how Kevin felt about it. Was he angry? Upset? Both? Connor couldn’t tell. There was nothing about his tone or body language which gave him an idea of how he was reacting to what he had done.

“Don’t remind me.” Connor mumbles, pulling nervously at his sleeves. This wasn’t something he ever thought he would have the confidence to do. He wasn’t one to be open and honest about his feelings, especially when he didn’t believe that he had a shot with the object of his affection. He didn’t have a shot with Kevin and he was getting ready for the rejection that was about to come his way. In all honesty, he was expecting him to ask him to move out because he was uncomfortable with his gay roommate being into him.

“Well, uh – Can I ask why?” Kevin asks, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck, something he only did when he was nervous. Connor didn’t really know how to answer that question. Does he be honest and confess his true feelings or does he make something up and hope he falls for it? His head was full of thoughts and he didn’t know which of them to listen to.

“Don’t make me talk about it.” He sighs, trying to see if there was a way he could get Kevin out of the way so that he could run out of here and not come back until he knew that the other wouldn’t be there. This was possibly the most embarrassing thing he has ever done in his whole life which says a lot for a guy who has experience a lot of embarrassing moments in his life time.

“We _have_ to talk about it, Connor! You can’t just do something like that and then run off without saying anything.” Kevin argues, crossing his arms over his chest. “Do you have… feelings or me or something? I mean – I wouldn’t blame you if you do. I’m awesome and handsome and everything but it would be nice to know.”  
Connor rolled his eyes at that, an action that he very rarely cared to perform. He usually wasn’t unimpressed with how self-confident Kevin was but there was something about the circumstances which meant he didn’t find it endearing whatsoever.

“Now is not the time for you to get cocky, Kevin.” It was clear to him that Kevin was slightly taken aback by the snappy response from Connor. He had never been like this before and Kevin was beginning to doubt that Connor had a harsh bone in his body. He was usually so quiet and friendly that this more abrupt way of speaking was highly unusual.  
“Sorry.” He replies, holding his hands up defensively. 

“Can you please just let me leave?” Connor asks, his voice now being reduced to a gentle tone, barely audible unless you were really listening.

“But –“

“Please…” He interrupts, a slight sight slipping from his lips after he did so.

Kevin didn’t want to move, he really didn’t but at the same time, he didn’t think he was going to have any luck in persuading Connor to stay and talk to him. Honestly, Kevin doesn’t know what he would say to him about it, either. He didn’t really know what to think about Connor’s sudden action that clearly took him by surprise just as much as it shocked him when the red head pressed his lips against his own. 

Truthfully, Kevin hadn’t put that much thought into his sexuality or even relationships in general. Being in one had never been a top priority for him and it was really only something he had considered recently with Jenna. Never before had he ever considered being into another guy, mainly due to his previous dedication to the church. He didn’t know if he liked Connor in that way. Feelings were a confusing thing, after all. What he did know is that he didn’t want him to leave when he was obviously extremely distraught.

“It’s okay, you know? What you did. It’s okay.” Kevin assures him, hoping that telling him that would help him calm down a little and not be so worked up.

“No, it’s not.” He responds, shaking his head. “Nothing about it was okay, Kevin… This is going to be the second home I get kicked out of just because of who I am, right? Because you’re going to kick me out just like my parents did and I’m going to be stuck out on the streets of something and okay, I guess I kind of deserve it, what I just did wasn’t cool and I’m sorry, okay? I’m really sorry.” There was an urgency in his words that was clear by how quickly he uttered them without even taking a second to take a breath. This is what happened when he begins to panic. He stumbles over his words and gets overcome with an overwhelming sense of fear.

“Hey, hey, hey – who said anything about me kicking you out? I’m not kicking you out.” Kevin says, reaching out to touch his arm which resulted in Connor simply flinching backwards. 

“You’re not?” He asks, suddenly feeling a sense of relief.

“No, no – Of course not.” He confirms, offering him a small smile. Kevin had no problem with who Connor was, if he did, he would have made it obvious by now. 

“So, you don’t hate me?”

“Hate you? Gosh, no. I don’t hate you, Connor. I’m just feeling a little… confused right now is all.”

Connor goes quiet and takes a few steps away from the door. He knew Kevin had every right to be confused, heck, he was confused, too. He couldn’t be more confused if he tried. He had this good guy, Steve, desperate to be in a relationship with him, yet here he was, hopelessly pining over a guy who he didn’t have a chance with. Why couldn’t he just have feelings for the guy who wants him instead of the guy who will never want him.

“We can just forget about it, if that’s what you want?” Kevin suggests, giving him a small smile, hoping that it helps him feel better about the events of the last ten minutes.

“Forget about it? Really?” Connor scoffs with a shake of his head. “God, Kevin, we can’t just forget about everything bad or complicated in our lives. We can’t turn it off like it’s a freakin’ light switch. We have to step up and admit to ourselves that something has happened or admit that we are who we are. We can’t just ignore it.” It was obvious that Connor wasn’t simply talking about this one incident, he was referring to everything within his life that has ever made him feel this way.

“Why are you being so defensive about this? It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It may not be a big deal for you but it’s a big deal for me but don’t worry, I don’t expect the perfect Kevin Price to understand.” Kevin was once again surprised by Connor’s sudden lashing out. He never knew that the other was one to overreact like this. Well, in his opinion he was overreacting, Connor might not think the same.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows towards him.

“Never mind. I’m just going to go.” Connor repeats, as he goes towards the door again, this time pushing Kevin out of the way so he was able to leave without having the other male in his way to block him. He didn’t know when he would return to the apartment after this, he just knew that he certainly wouldn’t be able to face Kevin for quite some time.


	10. Chapter 10

Connor didn’t really think this through. He escaped from his apartment with nothing but his phone, wallet and keys – not exactly enough to enable him to stay away from home for as long as he would like to. He wandered the streets of the city aimlessly, his hands shoved into his pockets and his body shivering slightly due to the brisk wind.

He knows that he shouldn’t have went off at Kevin, it wasn’t like him to do something like that. He hated arguing with people, especially when the person he was having the argument with was someone that he really cared about. There was a lot about Connor that had changed in the last few months. He had created this shell around himself and a façade which was made to help prevent people from realising just how shy and quiet he truly was. He wanted to create a new life for himself where he could be whoever he wanted to be, however, he didn’t want to be the kind of person to create unnecessary conflict with those around him.

He had been walking around the city for around an hour before he ended up on a doorstep and it took him an extra five minutes to knock. He was nervous to say the least. He knows he shouldn’t be here, especially not at this hour, but he had nowhere else to go.

“Connor? What are you doing here?” Says the male as he answers the door, not being able to hide the surprise he was feeling from seeing him randomly show up at his home.

“Can I come in?” He asks, but before he could finish the question, the other was already ushering him inside because he could tell that he had been suffering out in the cold for quite some time.

Never in a million years did Connor ever think that he would turn to Steve when he was in need. Even though they had been building up a friendship for several weeks now, there was still a part of him that found it hard to trust him due to the events of the past. He knows it’s stupid to hold a grudge after all this time, people grow and change and he has no doubt that Steve has. However, the first heartbreak is always the hardest to forget.

Steve brought Connor inside and was quick to offer him a hot chocolate – he really appreciated that even after not speaking for several years, he still remembered that his warm drink of choice was hot chocolate rather than coffee or tea. He has always believed that hot chocolate was the cure to all things crappy in life, that’s what his grandpa taught him when he was a young kid and it’s a piece of advice he will never forget.

“You never answered my question.” Steve pointed out as he sits down next to Connor. “Why are you here? Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the company but I can’t say it’s not surprising when you show up at my place at 10pm without any warning.”

“Yeah... Sorry about that. I should have called.” He sighs, holding the mug tight in his grip to help warm up his body.

“No, no… Don’t worry about it. Did something happen? Are you alright?” It was clear that he already knew that he definitely was not okay. He was visibly upset and it was strange for him to be so open to walk on his own so late at night. Anyone who knows him knows that he hates walking alone in the dark. He was always terrified that he’d get kidnapped or murdered so he preferred to go out with company as often as possible.

“I… uh, I’m here to ask if I could crash here for the night? Just tonight, I promise. I’ll give you free movie tickets for a month to repay you. I just need a place to stay.” He tells him before he takes a long sip of his drink.

“Of course, you can. And you don’t have to repay me, honestly, it’s all good. The couch is all yours.” Steve offers him a warm smile, one that makes it obvious that he truly does care about Connor. Connor cares about him, too, but not in the same way. He wishes he could feel the same way, just so both of them could be happy and not have to deal with rejection, but he can’t help it. He can’t help but be falling for the guy who will never possibly fall for him. 

“Did you have an argument with Kevin?”

“Not exactly… I’d rather not talk about it.” Connor mumbles, shifting uncomfortably. The last thing he wanted to do was explain what happened to him. He knows that if he was Steve, he certainly would not want to hear that the guy he was into had made a move on someone else. That would hurt and he doesn’t want to hurt him. 

“That’s alright. You don’t have to. We can just watch a movie or something?” He suggests, resulting in Connor just nodding in return. Honestly, he’d rather just go to sleep and ignore his problems for a few hours but he didn’t want to be rude. This was Steve’s home after all.

Steve put on some cheesy romantic comedy movie, a choice that Connor wasn’t surprised by. From the outside, you wouldn’t think that he would be the kind of guy to be entertained by this specific genre. He was tall, muscular and was on their high school baseball team. Overall, he was a stereotypical jock who most would assume would rather watch ’21 Jump Street,’ rather than ‘Love, Actually.’ Connor knew the real him, though. He knew that he had a soft side that was often dominant when he was around.  
The two males were getting closer and closer together as the movie progresses, so much so that if they moved any closer, Connor would almost definitely be sitting on his lap. Connor didn’t even notice that Steve was leaning in until their lips were placed together.

This was the kind of affection that Connor had been craving for such a long time and it didn’t even register with him that the one giving him the affection, wasn’t the person he craved it from. Despite this, Connor still found himself kissing him back, his hands placed on his chest while Steve was gently cupping his face. It was gentle, yet needy but it still wasn’t enough to satisfy Connor, not when the one who he’d rather be doing this with was the one he had just walked out on.

Their kiss lasted around a minute before Connor suddenly jolted backwards and shot onto his feet, staring towards Steve with a startled look.

“I’m sorry – I can’t do this.” He tells him, his head shaking.

“Why not? You seemed pretty into it. Is this just because of that stuff I did when we were in high school… Connor, I’m not that guy anymore, I promise. You can trust me now, I swear. I'm not going to hurt you again.”

“That’s not the problem…” Connor cuts him, his hand running through his hair. This evening certainly didn’t turn out the way he originally planned. Never in a million years could he have anticipated that he would kiss Kevin, walk out on him, arrive at Steve’s apartment and then end up kissing him too. This wasn’t like him. He didn’t go around making out with lots of people. It wasn’t him.

“Then what _is_ the problem?” Steve questions, standing up to move over towards the other, resulting in Connor instinctively taking more steps away from him.

“The problem is that I’m falling for Kevin.” Connor blurts out, but instantly wishes he didn’t when he sees the way Steve’s face falls when he finally admitted that fact out loud. He felt bad, he really did, but he deserved to know the truth so he could get over him and not pine over someone who doesn’t like them. But that’s always easier said than done.

“I kissed him earlier and then I freaked out and left… That’s why I came here. I kissed a straight guy who’s never going to want me that way.” He sighs as he perches himself on the edge of the couch, his head hanging in shame. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you back or got so close to you… You were just… You were giving me what I want from Kevin and I took advantage of that and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Steve tells him, carefully placing a comforting hand on Connor’s shoulder. “Look – although I wish you would have told me that earlier, I understand and it’s alright. I just think that maybe you should, I don’t know, talk to him, maybe?” He suggests. “It might be hard to talk about but this isn’t something you can hide from. You’ll have to go back to the apartment sometime and you never know, he might be into you too but he just doesn’t know it yet. You’re quite the catch, Connor McKinley.” There was a kindness to his words that Connor wasn’t expecting, but it was exactly what he needed to hear. He was glad that Steve was being so nice about this and didn’t kick him out for rejecting him.  
Maybe that’s what he needs to do. Maybe he just needs to tell Kevin how he feels. How hard could it really be?


	11. Chapter 11

Connor found himself walking the streets again after his conversation with Steve. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders as he was finally able to tell him the truth about his feelings for Kevin. He would no longer feel like he was leading him on or giving him false hope for a relationship every time they hung out. He wanted Steve to be happy with someone but that was never going to happen if he was always clinging onto the idea that he has a chance with Connor. He needed the closure just as much as Connor did.  


When he arrived back at his apartment, he twirled his key between his fingers, trying to find the confidence to go inside and confront the other male. A part of him was hoping that Kevin had fallen asleep so he wouldn’t have to deal with this for another few hours, it was after midnight, after all and Kevin wasn’t usually one to stay up late at night. He was usually pretty determined to get at least eight hours of sleep every night.

He opened the door cautiously, making sure that his movements were slow and quiet so, if he was asleep, Connor wouldn’t wake him. The boy kept his head down, snaking his way into the apartment and carefully closing the door behind him.

“You’re back.” Said Kevin, the sound of his voice causing Connor to jump slightly in surprise. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright…” He mutters, placing his keys onto the table, hesitant to walk any further into the room. While walking here, he went through so many scenarios within his head, trying to pick exactly what he was going to say to him when he had to partake in this confrontation with him. However, the second he walked through the door, it was if he had forgotten everything and his mind drew a sudden blank. His pre-planned words escaped him and he stood there in an awkward silence.

“I tried calling but you didn’t pick up. I was worried about you.” Kevin tells him, standing up from the couch and shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. Connor just stayed quiet, unable to look directly towards him. He knew he had tried calling but he purposely avoided him by switching off his phone all together. He just wanted this whole situation to blow over but he knew that it would be impossible to just forget unless they address it.

“Can you just talk to me Connor? Please?” Kevin’s voice sounded slightly strained, almost as if he was pleading with him.

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

“Just something. _Anything._ Anything that will help me understand what is going on here.”

“How am I meant to explain to you what’s going on when I don’t even know?” Connor says, the frustration evident within his tone. It wasn’t frustration towards Kevin, but frustration towards himself for causing all of this. If he hadn’t found some strange bout of confidence earlier this evening, he wouldn’t be having to deal with this right now. 

“I don’t want things to be awkward between us, Con. I would say that you’re my best friend but I’m afraid that just saying that will make Arnold pop out of nowhere and start crying.” He laughs slightly, trying to lighten the mood. Connor didn’t laugh, though. He wanted to, but he held it back. There was something nice about hearing Kevin refer to him as his best friend, though. It had only been several months, but they did have a close friendship that meant a lot to him and it was this friendship that he didn’t want to jeopardise because of his strong feelings. “Please talk to me.”

“I’m just as confused as you are, Kev.” Connor sighs as he moves over to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.

He could tell that Kevin was watching his every move and that both of them were carefully thinking before they spoke. This wasn’t a topic that they were particularly comfortable discussing. Connor wants to tell him, he really does. He just doesn’t know how.

Feelings are a confusing thing. He looks at Kevin and butterflies fill his stomach and he becomes overwhelmed with happiness. He has never felt this way about anyone before and he didn’t think he ever will. Connor didn’t have much faith or confidence in himself, especially not when it came to Kevin. Even if the feelings were mutual, he didn’t believe he was good enough for him. Kevin deserves the world and he would try his hardest to give him that but he doubts that he’d ever be able to achieve that.

“I want to know why you kissed me.” Kevin mutters after several seconds of silence. The question caused Connor to sigh again, the nerves beginning to overpower him.

“Maybe there wasn’t a reason. Maybe I was just desperate for affection or something. There doesn’t have to be a reason for everything a person does. Not everything can be explained.” It was clear that there was no conviction between Connor’s words. He didn’t mean them and Kevin could tell. Kevin could always tell.

“Did you kiss me because you have feelings for me?” This was the second time Kevin had asked him this, only this time, he didn’t insist on turning it into an opportunity for him to compliment himself. He was genuinely asking this time as if he truly cared about the answer he would receive.

Connor didn’t reply. Instead, he looked towards the ground and shifted on his feet. This simple action spoke a million words. His obvious nervousness highlighted the fact that he was avoiding the answer because he didn’t want to admit it out loud. He didn’t want to tell Kevin the truth.

“Tell me, Con… Do you have feelings for me?” He repeats, his voice soft.

“Would it matter if I did?” Connor responds after several seconds. He sounds defeated, preparing himself for the rejection that he knows he will receive. This rejection was going to break his heart, just like he broke Steve’s just an hour ago and he wasn’t ready for it. He’d never be ready to face being told no from the only person he doesn’t want to hear it from. 

“Would it really matter if I stood here and admitted that I’ve been falling for you since the moment you opened the door to show me this place? I don’t see a point in doing that since I’m just going to end up getting hurt like I always do. Why should I tell you that I have wanted to kiss for weeks or that I want to be with you more than anything else? After all, none of it matters to you because you’re Kevin Price. The legendary Kevin Price who could have anyone he freakin’ wants and who certainly isn’t going to pick a loser like me.” Connor finally snapped, his voice cracking slightly as he raises the volume, his tone laced with self-mockery and bitterness, something that took Kevin by surprise. Well, everything he said took him by surprise.

All Kevin could do was stand there and stare towards Connor in disbelief, not knowing how he could possibly respond to his sudden confession. He made his decision a few seconds later, though, because a few seconds later, he rushed over to him and slammed their lips together for the second time.


	12. Chapter 12

“Kevin, What are you ---“Connor questions as he pulls away from the kiss, unable to get away from him as Kevin’s hands were firmly placed by the side of his face, not giving him an effortless way to escape.

“Don’t say anything.” Kevin interrupts before he places his lips on his again, this time with an amount of urgency that neither of them were used to. He didn’t really know why he was doing this, he wasn’t really thinking straight. He wasn’t sure if he had feelings for Connor or if the attention from him was all he was interested in. It was a confusing situation and he was truly just buying himself some time so that he was able to think about what he was going to say next.

Connor felt as if he was in heaven. Having Kevin’s lips against his own was better than he could have ever imagined and he was melting further into him as each second passed. His arms snaked around Kevin’s body, pulling him as close as he possibly could. He didn’t want this to end, simply because he didn’t know what conversation the two of them were going to have in the aftermath of these events. It was taking everything within him to not get too carried away and push this further than it should go. He wanted Kevin in ways that were completely and utterly sinful but this moment possibly wasn’t the right time to execute his true desires.

Their kiss lasted several minutes before Kevin eventually pulls away, taking several steps back from the red-haired boy, creating distance that Connor hated. A deafening silence came over them, with both males staring directly at one another, breathing heavily and each of them refusing to be the first person to say something. Connor was extremely flustered, his face flushing a bright shade of red as he began to register what just happened. This wasn’t what he was expecting. When he was kicked out of his home, he never would have thought that he would fall in love with the person who would be his roommate. But he was so in love. He couldn’t be more in love with Kevin Price.

The silence was cut short by the sound of a phone ringing, causing the males to jump in surprise due to the sudden loud noise.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Kevin asks, nodding his head towards the cell phone that lay on the kitchen counter.

“It’s just Poptarts… I can call him back later.” Connor shrugs, shifting awkwardly on his feet.

“Poptarts?”

“Oh, it’s Chris. We’ve called him that since middle school because he has this crazy obsession with Poptarts. He loves them a lot.” He explains, causing Kevin to exert a slight laugh as the ringing comes to an end.

Things fell silent again for several seconds before Connor eventually sighs and runs his hands through his hair. It was a highly uncomfortable silence, with neither of them knowing what they could say regarding this whole situation. This wasn’t their first kiss but it was the first one that felt real and as if it was something that both of them were craving.

Connor slowly begins to close the space between them once more, taking small steps in Kevin’s direction until he was standing directly in front of him, staring directly into his eyes. His fingers carefully begin to trace along his arm, before deciding to rest on the side of his neck. However, Kevin suddenly jerks away, breaking all contact with the other male as he begins to shake his head from side to side.

“Stop it, Connor. We can’t do stuff like this. I shouldn’t have done that. It was a mistake.”

This evening had been a crazy whirlwind of emotions for Connor. One minute he is happy and the next minute it feels as if his world is falling apart. In just a matter of hours he had managed to do things he never thought he would ever have the confidence to do and it was backfiring. It was as if the universe just refused to allow him to be happy.

Kevin Price didn’t make mistakes, he had told him that on multiple occasions. His over inflated ego made him believe that all of his actions were perfect and correct all the time and it hurt that this is the one time where he would ever claim that something he did was a mistake. This wasn’t a mistake for Connor, this is all he has wanted for weeks but as soon as he feels as if he is close to getting what he wants, it is torn away from them because of their hesitancy.

“It wasn’t a mistake, Kev.” Connor tells him with a small frown playing on his lips. “I think… I think you’re just confused or something. But you wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t want to.”

Kevin doesn’t speak, he just gazes down towards the ground, shifting on his feet as he processes Connor’s words and allows his mix of thoughts to swirl around his head.

“This isn’t what Heavenly Father would want.” Those words took Connor by surprise, causing him to furrow his brows in confusion.

“Since when did you care what Heavenly Father would think? You told me that you haven’t followed the Church in years.” He asks as Kevin begins to pace around the room, looking painfully flustered as his face beams a dark shade of red. “Kevin, I’m not trying to force anything on you but we have to talk about this. You can’t just make out with a gay guy and then just shy away from it and pretend it didn’t happen. It’s not fair for me and you know it so let’s just sit down and talk about it, okay? Please, Kev.”

There was an overwhelming sense of desperation in his voice as he looks over at the other with wide eyes. There was no way he could possibly just forget about this, not this time. He needed closure and answers, even if the answers he will get aren’t what wants. The last thing he wanted was for their friendship to suffer because of this, he just wanted them both to be happy.

Kevin nods his head and wanders over to the couch to sit down, patting the spot next to him until Connor places himself down next to him.

“I don’t… I’m not really sure what I should say.” Kevin mumbles.

“Just tell me what you’re feeling.”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling.” That was the response that Connor was expecting but wasn’t what he wanted. He wasn’t used to dealing with Kevin not knowing what to say. Usually he always had something to say, although what he said wasn’t always correct or fair, it was better than the bland responses he was currently receiving.

“Do you want me to be honest with you?” Connor asks.

“Please.” Kevin responds, lifting his head to look up towards him, a look of curiosity on his face. Connor hated talking about his feelings, but he feels as if being completely open and honest was the only way he was going to get anything out of Kevin. Of course, this plan could completely work against him and make things worse, but he couldn’t back out of it now. He wasn’t going to back out.

He takes several deep breaths before speaking again.

“I think –“ He begins, before stopping to correct himself. “Wait, no – I know that I, uh…” He stops again, taking one final breath. “I can’t do it.”

Kevin frowns and shakes his head, shifting slightly so he is able to look right at him.

“Tell me, please.” He pleads, moving again so that he is sitting cross-legged.

“I… I’m in love with you, Kevin.”


	13. Chapter 13

Kevin froze upon hearing Connor’s sudden confession. He was staring directly at him with wide eyes, his blinking becoming rare and his body refusing to move. Connor felt as if time was moving in slow motion, like seconds were being transformed into hours. He never thought he would ever say that to him, he didn’t think he had the courage to be open about his true feelings and judging be Kevin’s reaction, he wished he just kept his mouth shut. This was going to ruin everything. Their friendship was going to be over and he was going to be stuck living on Chris’ couch again until he had enough money to find a place on his own. His life was going to be bad again all because he couldn’t stop himself from falling for his roommate.

“Say something… Please.” He begs, unable to handle the silence and the not knowing what the other was thinking. He was mentally preparing himself for the rejection, trying to build up a wall around himself so he doesn’t break down in tears the second that he tells him that he doesn’t feel the same way. It was going to break his heart into a million pieces but he didn’t want to be weak. Not in front of Kevin.

“I don’t…” Kevin responds after several seconds. “I don’t know what to say.” His voice was soft and laced with a tone of confusion.

Both of them were showing sides to them that the other wasn’t used to. Connor was coming out of his shell, saying things that he never thought he would ever say while Kevin was crawling into a shell that neither of them thought existed. His usual over-confident persona was gone and replaced with a personality that much resembled Connor’s.

“I’m sorry.” Connor sighs, running his hands over his face and through his hair, lightly tugging on the roots to portray his frustration.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I just feel like I have to be sorry…” It was painfully obvious that neither of them knew what to do about this situation. The whole concept of love and feelings was foreign to them and with Connor admitting what he just did, they were put into a position that was difficult and confusing.

“You’re… You’re in love with me?” Kevin says after taking a deep breath. Hearing him question his words caused Connor to frown slightly but still nod in reply to his inquiry. He couldn’t possibly take back what he said and pretend he was kidding or that it wasn’t true. Kevin knows it’s true and truthfully, Connor thought that he had known for quite some time but never wanted to confront him about it since it results in such an uncomfortable conversation.

“Like… actual love?  Real love?” Connor nods again and decides to stand up, finding it difficult to be so close to Kevin at a time like this. He didn’t want to look into his eyes and fall even more in love, not whenever he feels as if he is minutes away from having his world crumble around him.

“I’ve been in love with you since the day we met.” He confesses, Connor was slowly getting to the point where he didn’t care anymore. If he was going to be honest, he might as well just say everything that’s on his mind. If Kevin is planning on rejecting him then why should it matter that he says what he’s feeling? He’d rather get it all off his chest rather than keep it bottled up for the rest of his life.

Kevin’s eyes followed him as he paced around the room, trying to figure out what he was going to say next. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife and both of them just wanted it to be over but it was clear that it wasn’t going to be over for quite some time.

“And okay, I’m not expecting you to feel the same way or anything but you can’t do this to me, Kevin.” Connor’s voice sounds pained, as if he was seconds away from bursting into tears. Which, come to think of it, he was. He was fighting them back, holding in his emotions so he doesn’t embarrass himself further. However, he doesn’t know how much longer he can keep them at bay.

“You can’t just kiss me like that when it means so much more to me than it does to you. That’s not fair to me. It’s not fair when you kiss me once and never plan on doing it again when all I want is to never stop kissing you. God, Kevin… I never want to stop kissing you.” He couldn’t look away from him, he was staring in his direction, his voice rising slightly simply due to his growing exasperation.

The dark-haired boy didn’t return his gaze. He was looking down towards the floor, fidgeting with his fingers which sat in his lap as he listened to what Connor had to say. Kevin hated talking about his feelings, it was one of the only things about himself that he didn’t enjoy discussing. He’s more than willing to talk about anything else but not his feelings. It was a touchy and difficult subject that he found hard to comprehend most of the time. He was so used to pushing all of his feelings to the side and ignoring them in favour of his work but this time he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want to hurt Connor, after all. He may not know how he feels, but he knows that he would hate himself if he hurt him.

“It meant something to me, Con. I wouldn’t have done it if it didn’t mean anything… I just don’t know what it means.” He admits as he rises to his feet and takes a few steps in Connor’s direction.

“But I want you to know what it means.” He sighs, shaking his head slightly. “I need you to know what it means because I can’t just keep living like this. I hate it. I hate not knowing.”

“I know you do and I’m sorry… I just, I need time.” Kevin shoves his hands into his pockets, looking and feeling extremely guilty for making this situation a lot more complicated than it needs to be. He knows that he feels something for Connor, he just isn’t sure exactly what that something is. It was more than friendship, that’s for sure, but he didn’t know how to describe it. It was complicated.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Without even realising, the two males were subconsciously moving closer to one another until they were almost standing face to face, with very little room looming between their bodies.

“Can you say it again?”

“Say what again?”

“Tell me you love me.”

Connor sighed and shook his head as he looked down at his feet, not knowing if he had it within him to say it again, not when he still has to deal with the fact that he isn’t going to hear it back. It hurts too much to not hear it back.

“Please? Just say it --“

Instead of saying it again, Connor simply just lifts his head and kisses Kevin once more, cutting him off before he had chance to finish his sentence.  He may not be able to say the words, but this is something he could do, it was something he craved to do at least one more time because he isn’t sure when he would possibly get the opportunity to do it again.

This one was a lot sweeter than the last. Connor gently placed a hand at the side of Kevin’s neck and moved his lips carefully against his while pouring every single ounce of feelings he had for him into it. Actions speak louder than words, after all.

Kevin reacted almost automatically, his arms moving to wrap around Connor’s waist, pulling him impossibly close as he kissed him back. He preferred this much more than talking. It felt so much better to act on this situation rather than discuss it. It wasn’t long until Connor began directing them to the couch, their lips not disconnecting even for a second. He allowed Kevin to lay down first before he gently brought himself down on top of him, not wanting this moment to end because in this moment, everything seemed as if it was perfect and okay. There is nothing he wanted more than for things to be perfect and okay.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more in Kevin's point of view!! I just wanted to explore his side of things a bit so I hope you enjoy!

Kevin Price was a picture-perfect Mormon in his younger years, never once daring to break the rules due to the fear of disappointing his parents and being a bad role model for his siblings. He worked so unbelievably hard in the hope that he would do something incredible and be the Mormon who would change all of mankind. Things were very different now, though. It had been a year and a half since he took the leap of faith and told his family that he no longer wanted to be associated with the LDS church and, as you could probably tell, it did not end well.

His parents spent days trying to get him to change his mind, desperately trying to convince him that he was simply experiencing a crisis of faith and that everyone goes through that when they’re his age. The decision to leave wasn’t rushed for him whatsoever. It was something he had considered for a long time and the minute he said it to his family, he knew he was never turning back. He didn’t want to turn back.

If he had turned back, he wouldn’t be here right now. He would be in some far off place, spreading the word of Christ in the hope he would baptise the local people to bring them to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. His studies would be put on hold and he’d return to Utah to be sent off to Brigham Young University. He never would have met Connor or be in the position he was in now. It was strange to him that changing one part of his life would lead to things being so considerable different.

However, after seventeen years within the church, he couldn’t help but allow his mind to wander back to the Mormon traditions and rules that he was used to. As he lay beneath Connor, his lips carefully moving against his, his mind began to race. He had been convinced for so long that homosexuality was a sin. That boys should be with girls because that’s Heavenly Father’s plan. This was wrong in so many ways and what was even worse ---- was the fact he _enjoyed_ it. He loved it, way more than he cared to admit and that became evident with the quiet moan that came from the base of his throat as their kiss was deepening.

He feels Connor smile against his lips and that makes him do the exact same thing as he begins to run his hands through his fiery red hair. Everything about this was sinful, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care how much Heavenly Father would disapprove but at this moment in time, all he cares about is Connor.

Of course, he still doesn’t know exactly how he feels. Everything about this was so horrendously confusing for him, but luckily, this kiss was giving him longer time to think about what he was going to say when they eventually part. He adored how Connor’s lips felt, they were slightly chapped, but despite this, they were surprisingly soft and God – he loved how perfectly they fit together. It was as if their lips were made for one another and no one else.

Several seconds later, Connor slowly begins to pull away and both of them remain painfully still for a further number of seconds before Kevin finally opened his eyes to see Connor looking right back at him, a soft smile plastered onto his face.

“That was –“Kevin begins.

“Something incredible?” Connor interrupts, causing the two boys to laugh quietly.

“I was actually going to say amazing, but that works too.”

Connor smiles even wider and it warms Kevin’s heart. His smile was perfect, completely and utterly perfect. He doesn’t really know what else to say, though. Feelings were never something that he enjoyed discussing, simply due to the fact he had never had feelings like this before.

Is this what a crush feels like? Is that what Kevin was feeling for him? A _crush_? He isn’t entirely sure and he had way too much pride to ask anyone if these butterflies in his stomach or the overwhelming happiness he feels when Connor is around, is due to the fact he has a huge, uncontrollable crush on his red-haired roommate.

The two of them sat in a comfortable silence for a while before Connor eventually rolled off of him, causing Kevin to frown due to the sudden lack of contact. He moved his head so he was still looking at him before he sat up with a sigh slipping from his lips. He opened his mouth to say something but he was beaten to it.

“I shouldn’t have told you how I felt… Should I? I mean, we’ve only known each other for what, four months? It’s too soon for that, isn’t it? Have I freaked you out? I just catch feelings really quickly and I couldn’t help it when it came to you. I just fell for you and God, I’m sorry if I have completely screwed up here. I was just getting so frustrated with keeping everything to myself and I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. So I’m really sorry if you feel like I pressured you into kissing me or something because that wasn’t my intention, I was just so desperate to kiss you again because I don’t know how often I’ll get to do it…” He was rambling, speaking so fast that Kevin was having trouble catching every word he said because they merged into one another, almost sounding like a completely different language altogether.

“Connor… With all due respect, please shut up.” Kevin tells him, his hand reaching over to rest gently on his knee in an attempt to calm him down. His tone was light-hearted, hoping that he didn’t sound too harsh with his demand.

Connor blushes and nods his head, deciding against saying anything else and instead, he waits for Kevin to say something to save himself any further embarrassment.

“I don’t feel forced or pressured into anything and I’m not freaked out, I promise.” He reassures, a small smile creeping onto his face. “I mean, sure, I was a little shocked but that’s not always a bad thing. Plus, I’m not really surprised you wanted to kiss me again, I’m kind of irresistible.”

Connor rolls his eyes as that comment and nudges Kevin gently.

“It wouldn’t be a conversation with Kevin Price if you didn’t compliment yourself at least once.” He teases. They both laugh.

“What can I say? I’m an asshole.”

“That’s true.”

“You know, that’s when you’re meant to say ‘ _no, Kevin, you’re not an asshole. You’re sweet and kind and perfect and God, I wish I was you.”_

Connor laughs and nudges Kevin again, this time it was hard enough to push him back down into his previous lying down position and Kevin was quick to grab onto Connor, pulling him down so they lay next to one another on their small couch.

“If I was you, I couldn’t be with you, could I?” Connor says quietly as he turns his head to look at Kevin. Their faces were incredibly close, so close that they could feel each other’s breath on their skin.

“You want to be with me?” Kevin asks, completely clueless.

“No, I just told you I love you because I want to be your friend and nothing more.” His tone was mocking and he couldn’t help but laugh at Kevin’s utter naivety. “Of course, I want to be with you, you idiot.”

There was another brief silence before Connor spoke up again.

“I mean, only if that’s what you want, too. I don’t want to guilt you into anything or do it just to make me happy. I want you to be happy, too. That’s all I want, really and I’m rambling again so it would be really great if you would say—“

Connor couldn’t even finish the sentence because Kevin quickly closed the small space between them and kissed him softly. It was so incredibly gentle and it lasted just a few short seconds but it was perfect, nevertheless.

“I want to be with you, too. I really do. I don’t want anything more than to be with you, Connor McKinley.”


	15. Chapter 15

“So, are you together or not?” Asks Connor’s best friend, Chris, as they sat in their favorite coffee shop on the outskirts of town, also joined by his boyfriend, James.

Connor and Chris had been best friends since childhood. They grew up next door to one another and both came from Mormon families who would often interact and spend time together, allowing the two boys to develop a close friendship.

There was a time several years ago where people thought they would end up together. Two Mormon boys, both of whom are gay and began to distance themselves from the strict rules that the Church had in place. It all seemed to make sense, Connor even thought so for a short while. That was until he met James Church. At first, Connor was jealous at how close Chris and James were becoming. The time he spent with his friend was cut short because he would rather spend time with this new person who entered his life. Those few months were some of the hardest of his whole life. He felt so alone considering he had no other friends to hang out with. Connor’s days became boring and monotonous, following the same pattern of going to school, coming home, doing homework and then sleeping – and to top it all off, he was also having to turn off all of his feelings because the only person he could talk to was no longer there.

However, once Connor finally got the courage to say something, it all got better and the three of them became a tight-knit group of friends. For a while, the two of them were all that he needed and they were there for him when no one else was. He couldn’t be more grateful for that.

Since moving in with Kevin, he rarely got to see them as neither of them go to college. Chris dropped out after freshman year and higher education wasn’t ever what James wanted. Instead, the two of them went straight into work and Connor really admires that. He kept in close contact with the boys, keeping them well and truly up to date with his ongoing struggles with his feelings for Kevin. He needed people to vent to and Chris and James were the only people he could trust.

“I don’t know.” Connor sighs before taking a sip of his hot chocolate, his mouth scrunching up as the warmth burns at his mouth.

“How can you not know? It’s a yes or a no answer.” James argues causing Connor to frown.

“He told me that he wants to be with me but that's where the conversation ended that night. We didn’t say anything else about and now it has been three days and I’ve still got nothing from him. I try to bring it up but he just ignores me or changes the subject so I’ve just given up.”

“This guy sounds like a prick.” Chris says.

Connor shakes his head, hating that such a negative word could be used to describe Kevin. Sure, it wasn’t fair what he was doing to him, but he’s confused and he asked for time so that’s what Connor is giving him. Time. Kevin had only met his friends several times and they were just quick interactions, meaning that neither of them really knows who he is, all they know is what Connor has told them and it’s clear that he isn’t presenting him in an extremely bright light.

“I told him that I loved him, I think he’s allowed to be a little shocked and confused for a while.”

Chris and James’ eyes widen at his confession.

“You _what?”_

“Dude, you’ve known him for, what, like four months? Isn’t that a little too soon?”

He sighs again and runs his hands through his hair.

Before he met Kevin, he didn’t think that love at first sight could possibly be real. How could you possibly be in love with somebody without knowing who they are? Without knowing their personality or what they love or what they hate. It didn’t make sense. Not until he met him. As soon as Kevin opened the door, he knew that he was going to end up in this position. He knew that he would be falling in love with him a little bit more as each day passed. Even just hearing his name makes his heart flutter and his chest to feel tight because of how much he wants to be beside him. It may be too soon for other people to take such a big step, but not him, he knows that at this moment in time he is in love with Kevin Price and that he will never regret it.

“Not for me.” He shrugs. “It doesn’t feel too soon for me. And hey, you can’t tell me that after knowing James for four months you weren’t in love with him. You used to call me up at three in the morning just to talk about him because you couldn’t sleep due to how happy you were that you met him.”

“You did that?” James asks, looking over at Chris with a smile.

“Shut up, this isn’t about us, stop looking at me. Connor, go back to talking about your own problems and stop embarrassing me.” He was blushing and there was a playfulness in his tone which caused the taller of the two to lean over and press a kiss against his cheek.

Connor envied their relationship. The two of them were so open and honest with who they are and they got together without any issues or complications. That’s all that Connor wants. He doesn’t want to have to deal with all of this not knowing. It was driving him completely insane. Kevin was driving him insane. They had been dating for over two years and Chris’ parents were a lot more accepting of him than Connor’s. They may be Mormons, but they are nowhere near as extreme as the McKinley family who wanted Connor to stop associating himself with Chris once news spread about his sexuality. He could never do that, though. He would never abandon a friend. His only friend.

“Just… God, just tell me what to do before I start banging my head off of a wall.” He groans, his forehead hitting gently against the table.

“Force him to talk to you, Con. That’s all you can do.” Chris tells him, reaching over to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. The touch made him look up, his chin now resting at the table so he could gaze over towards his friends.

“Yeah, stand in front of the door and refuse to move until he talks to you about it. It’s the only way to fix it unless you both just get too frustrated and start having angry sex instead of talking about your feelings.” James says, causing the other two male’s eyes to roll.

“Not everything can be fixed with sex, Church.” Connor laughs slightly as he sits upright again but now leans his head against his palm.

“Have you ever even had sex, McKinley?”

Connor blushes.

“You haven’t, have you?”

“Of course he hasn’t, if he did, he would have told me.” Chris says, slapping his boyfriend slightly on the arm to help stop the embarrassment that his best friend was feeling.

“I’m waiting for the right person, alright?” He argues.

“And is that Kevin?”

“I don’t know. It could be. I’m not going to push him into anything, though. That’s not fair.”

“What he’s doing to you isn’t fair, either. So, go talk to him. Right now.” Chris suggests, although it came out as more of a command.

He knows he must talk to him, it’s the only way they were possibly going to sort this out without things getting messy. The last thing he wants to is make things messy.

 

\---

 

When he returns to their apartment, he stands outside the door for a while, staring blankly at it before he finally steps closer so he could go inside. However, just as he is fishing his key from his pocket, the door swings open and both males make a slight startled sound as they spot one another.

Kevin opens his mouth to say something but he is swiftly cut off by Connor who says,

“We need to talk.”

“I was… I was just about to go grocery shopping.” Kevin argues, causing Connor to shake his head and gently push past Kevin, grabbing his hand while he did so he was pulling him back inside, insuring that the door closed behind them.

“No, we _have_ to talk. Right now. And you’re not allowed to ignore me or change the subject because we _need_ to talk.”

Kevin goes silent and simply nods his head before moving to sit down on the couch. Connor remains standing.

“You’re driving me nuts, Kevin and I’m not putting up with it anymore. You told me the other night that there is nothing you want more than to be with me but then you spend the better part of three days ignoring me. It’s not right. I spilled my God damn heart out to you and I’ve got nothing in return except for a few empty confessions and I don’t even know if half of the crap you said to me was true because you sure as hell aren’t acting like someone who wants to be with me.” The frustration was evident in his tone; however, it was being overshadowed by the hurt he was feeling.

There’s another silence and Connor _hates_ it.

“Say something.” He demands, the volume of his voice rising slightly, causing Kevin to frown.

“I wasn’t lying, Connor.” Kevin responds, running his hands over his face. “I’m just confused, I’ve already told you that like a million times, can’t you just accept that?”

“I’ve tried to accept that but it doesn’t even look like you’re taking the time to actually think about what it is that you want! I can’t give you all the time in the world to think this through because I don’t want to spend another freakin’ minute not being with you.”

He was desperate. He never wanted to be desperate but he couldn’t help it. He feels as if he has waited long enough and they were going to figure something out right now so he doesn’t have to go on any longer without knowing where they stand.

“You don’t know how hard this is for me.” Kevin sighs as he stands up once more to face the other boy. “I spent so many years of my life being the best Mormon in the freaking world and yes, even though I may have tried to distance myself from the Church, I still follow so many of the rules because it’s just what I’m used to. It’s not easy to suddenly just switch all that off and live as if you’ve had these thoughts and feelings for all your life. I spent so long believing that being gay or whatever is bad and although I’ve never had a problem being friends with gay people, I’ve never had to consider that I might be gay, too because I was a picture-perfect Mormon. I may not be one anymore but it’s still a big part of my life, Con. _That’s_ why it’s so hard. It’s so hard because my brain finds it hard to process that I’m turning against everything I believed for most of my life.”

Connor listens intently to his speech, sighing slightly as it came to an end. Of course, he knows all about Kevin’s life as a Mormon but he never took time to remember that his faith ran a lot deeper than his own. Although Connor was a member of the Church, he never felt wholeheartedly dedicated to it because he knew that the Church didn’t like people like him. He tried to hide who he was but it never stopped him from still hating that his family and fellow Mormons were never going to accept him.

“I just… I need to know if I actually have a chance with you or not because I have hope right now. I have hope for me and you and I don’t want that to be ripped away from me.”

“It won’t be ripped away from you… I know what I want now.” Kevin tells him, his voice soft as he wanders closer to him and slowly reached his hard up to rest softly on his cheek.

“You do?”

Kevin nods.

“I want this. I want me and you, right now. No more not knowing, no more confusion.” He begins, his other hand searching for Connor’s so that he could intertwine their fingers. The fingers fit perfectly together, like two pieces of an amazing puzzle. “Let’s be crazy and wild and incredible. But let’s be all those things together because I promise you, Connor. I want this just as much as you do.”

Connor’s smile was so incredibly wide, as if his whole face would break if he stayed like that for too long. He instantly wraps his arms around Kevin, pulling him close within a tight embrace.

“Me and you, Kevin. Me and you.” 


	16. Chapter 16

It had been two weeks since they made their relationship official, but Kevin and Connor were yet to go public and allow their friends to know the truth. No one knew, not even Arnold or Chris. It was their little secret and neither of them knew how much longer they would have to hide the fact that they were more than just friends. It was Kevin’s fault that they were keeping things quiet, if it were up to Connor, he’d be screaming it from the rooftops. Being honest about his sexuality was something that Kevin wasn’t used to and he didn’t think he was ready for everyone to know just yet and Connor respected that. He would wait as long as Kevin wanted, just as long as he got to be with him, he truly didn’t mind.

It was almost noon and the two boys were lying next to one another on the couch, squished up close with Kevin’s arms wrapped protectively around Connor who was resting his head onto his chest. They were an extremely touchy-feely couple and that became evident within the first few days of them being together. They loved being close to one another whether it be cuddling like they were now or just holding hands. Just as long as they were touching in some way, they were happy.

“Babe, we have class soon.” Connor mutters, looking up towards Kevin. Kevin smiled at the nickname, admittedly loving it every time he called him that. Neither of them wanted to move from their current position. Their legs were tangled together and it didn’t seem as if Kevin was going to be willing to let the other go anytime soon.

“Do we have to go?” He sighs, his arms tightening around him before he flashes him a wide smile. Connor adored his smile, it may even be his favorite thing about him. He believes that it could light up any room, even if it is the darkest room in the world. Kevin had a spark about him, something that Connor found difficult to describe, there wasn’t a single word in the dictionary that could accurately describe how highly he thinks of him.

“As much as I would like to just lie here with you all day, yes, we do have to go.”

Kevin leaned down and pressed his lips against Connor’s head, which resulted in the two of them shifting their position so their lips were able to meet. Connor was now lying directly on top of Kevin, kissing him softly while their bodies began to mesh together. Kevin’s hands moved down Connor’s back, moving over the fabric of his shirt before they slowly moved under it, his cold fingertips grazed the other’s pale skin, causing him to shudder slightly due to the contrast in temperature. The touch was gentle but was also full of electricity and Connor adored it.

They remained in that position for several minutes, being completely and utterly engrossed with one another and blocking out everything else in the entire world. It felt like a perfect moment – until they were interrupted. The front door to their apartment suddenly flew open and Arnold wandered into the room, instantly stopping in his tracks once he noticed the other two boys on the couch.

Connor instantly shot up and climbed off of Kevin, moving away from him and not daring to look in the direction of Arnold who had just walked in on their private moment. Kevin, on the other hand, didn’t move a muscle. He was frozen and didn’t know what he could possibly say or do. He wasn’t ready for anyone to know, not even his best friend and the fact he has seen them means that he was no longer able to keep this as a secret.

“What the --“ Arnold manages to stutter out, his eyes wide while he removes his glasses and puts them back on his face repeatedly as if he was testing to see whether or not he just witnessed that or if there was something awfully wrong with his eyesight.

Kevin eventually changes his position, swinging his legs off the side of the couch so he was sitting normally, but, much like Connor, he was avoiding the gaze of his friend. Instead, he stared towards the ground, hoping that it swallowed him whole so he didn’t have to face him.

“Are you two… I mean, are you guys…” Arnold doesn’t know how to finish that sentence so he’s hoping that one of them will complete it for him. That doesn’t happen, though. Instead, the room falls into a silence, causing him to frown. He thought that him and Kevin told each other everything so the fact that he hid this from him truly did hurt. They didn’t keep secrets, they never have.

“Can one of you say something, please?” He adds after a few seconds of quiet. Arnold hated when rooms were quiet, it made him highly uncomfortable given the fact that his persona is anything but quiet. His request causes Connor to finally turn around and look between him and Kevin.

“You should tell him, Kev.” Connor says as he moves closer to the couch again. Kevin looks up at him with big eyes before nodding slightly. Arnold watches this exchange with his eyebrows furrowed, crossing his arms over his chest while he waits.

Kevin stands up and takes a breath before looking towards Arnold.

“Well, I, uh…” He begins, his hand coming up to rub awkwardly at his neck. Connor can see how hard this is for him to do but there is a part of him that can’t help but be so extremely proud that he was finally gaining the courage to tell the truth to someone else. “Connor and I… We are, like, we’re together.” He was getting progressively quieter as he finished speaking, unsure if he even spoke loud enough for Arnold to hear what he said. Connor smiles to himself as he moves to stand next to him so he could take his hands.

But he did. He heard loud and clear.

“You are?”

Kevin nods and Arnold instantly rushes over to them to wrap his arms around both boys, engulfing them in a tight embrace with a wide smile on his face.

“I’m so happy for you! To be honest, I kind of always thought that you two would end up together, ever since you got me with Naba, I tried looking for people for you two as well to thank you but I could only see you guys together, not with anyone else.” He rambles, causing Kevin to let out a large sigh of relief, so glad that his best friend wasn’t going to abandon him due to his choice of partner. He should have known that Arnold wouldn’t react badly, he is the most accepting human being he had ever met but he couldn’t help but be drowned with fear at the thought of it not turning out the way he planned.

“Thanks, buddy.” Connor says as he hugs Arnold back. Kevin still refuses to move, his arms hanging limp by his sides as the others engage in the hug. It isn’t because he isn’t happy, of course he is, he is just experiencing a whirlwind of emotions of one time and he isn’t too sure if he was capable of moving. He was frozen in his position because he just took a huge step. He did something he never thought he would ever have the confidence to do and it terrified him.

“Kev… Are you okay?” Arnold questions as he pulls away, looking at his best friend with concern.

“Yeah, yeah… I’m fine. This is just – it’s a lot to take in right now.”

This whole thing didn’t seem real. He was so determined to tell his friends when he was ready and he had no idea when that was going to be. However, now that he was able to tell Arnold, granted, it was against his will, he feels as if he would be willing to let everyone else know. He wants to do it for Connor. He knows that Connor wants nothing more than to be able to go out on a proper date and walk to campus holding hands and that’s what he wants, too. He wants it more than anything.

“You told him, babe. You did it and I’m so proud of you.” Connor smiled to wide and wrapped an arm around his waist, placing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“I know, I’m proud of me, too.” He agrees, managing to allow a small smile to creep onto his face.

“You guys are adorable and as much as I would love to sit here and talk to you guys about it, we have to go. Naba is waiting for us at the coffee shop so we can walk to class.” The smallest of the three says as he adjusts the position of his glasses on his face.

Kevin nods and walks to grab him bag, picking up Connor’s as he does so to hand it to him once they are standing by the front door.

“Thanks for being so cool about this, Arnold.” Kevin says quietly to his friend, causing him to lean in for another hug.

“Anytime, Kev. But please beware that the next time you keep something from me, I will get the Angel Moroni from the Death Star to unleash the Kraken on your ass.” The threat caused Kevin to laugh and nudge his shoulder while shaking his head.

“Whatever you say, buddy.”

The three boys leave the apartment to make the journey out to the street and just a few seconds after getting outside, Kevin reaches over and takes Connor’s hand.

“What are you doing?” Connor asks, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Holding my boyfriend’s hand. Am I not allowed to hold your hand?” He repleis, smiling.

“You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

“I know I don’t have to do anything. I’m ready, Con. I promise.”

And with that, Kevin and Connor wander down the street hand in hand, with Arnold constantly making embarrassing remarks about how adorable the two of them were. The day may not have gone how Kevin would have planned, but he wouldn’t change it for the world.


End file.
